Poopin' Monkeys

Poopin' Monkey #1

Poopin' Monkey #2

Warning...the following entry is about poop. If poop in any way disgusts you, gives you the eebie-jeebies, or in any way offends you, I recommend you skipping today's blog entry.

Okay. So, is poop one of those things that is taboo in the world? Should I not talk about it? I don't know. But what I DO know, is that until I had kids, I never knew that poop would be so important. Yes. That's right. I said important. You can tell a lot about poop when it comes to babies and kids. Shoot, there is actually a chart in the "What to Expect the First Year" book that gives you a color/consistency chart when it comes to the gross little biohazards. Apparently, it is such an important subject that it requires it's own section in books. Three years ago, I wouldn't have expected to be happy to see the transition of poop from tarry black to pasty yellow. So on to my poopin' monkeys. As you probably know, babies do three things initially. Sleep, eat, and poop. And believe me...that is the honest truth. At first, it's every time you change a diaper. And if you breastfeed, which I am naturally doing, they get to a wierd place in diaper land where they just stop going. At first you think, "Is she constipated?" No...she's not constipated. It's natural to only go once every 3 to 7 days if they are breastfed. But in between those poops, it starts getting crazy. You know that they gotta go and that the plumbing is getting backed up in there. I mean, the intestines can only hold so much, ya know? So here I am at this point in the life of an infant. Abby is four months old and as of yesterday she had not had a poopy diaper in 5 days. I found myself eagerly changing her morning diaper in hopes of finding the minor explosion that was bound to happen. I fully expected to be woken up by the thunderous rocket blast coming from the crib. But after day five, I'd almost given up hope of finding the little...um...surprise in the diaper. So last night, I went to bed and was woken up at 4:40 in the morning to the sound of the crib bumping into the wall. I peeked into the crib to find my little girl who was so full of energy and so incredibly wide awake that she was lying on her back literally running. Her legs were super-speed and eyes were WIDE awake and a smile on her face to boot! She was rip-roarin' ready to go. I looked down at those bright eyes and knew she was ready to eat which of course only meant one thing. The poop fairy had visited us at last! The diaper was brim-top full and to be honest, i'm quite surprised that the sheer force of that explosion didn't blow a hole straight through her onsie! 15 wet wipes later, she ate...and ate...and ate...and finally decided to burp her gratitude. She was still wide awake of course and I gazed into her bright eyes and said, "Heck no! You are goin' back to sleep." She disagreed and so I kissed her, placed her in the crib and said, "Mama's goin' back to bed. Wake me when you get angry." I went back to sleep so I figure she must have too, because at 8:00 she was starting to wake back up. What a little monkey. But now that the big poop is over, I suppose we will start the countdown for the next explosion. Bring it on!

Of course Abby is at that beautiful age when she WANTS to have a clean butt. Believe it or not, they do eventually grow out of that. Or at least, mine did. Alex...poopin' monkey number 2...has a completely opposite response to the poop fairy. When he goes, he he will take off running at warp speed across the house. He hides under whatever object he can so as to avoid the dreaded diaper change. I can't imagine why though. The odor that follows him around is like sticky glue. It attatches itself to the walls. I'm not kidding either. You walk into a room where he is an hour after he's been changed and the smell is still in the walls. But still, I'm happy that he goes. Better out than in!