Donut as I do

This past weekend, we got to visit Josh's family for some birthday fun. It was really nice to get to actually be there for one of my niece's birthdays. It seems that we can never really make it out that way for things like this. But of course, I'll write more about the weekend in a later blog. For now, I have a little moment to share. If you know anything at all by now after reading this blog, then you are more than aware of my son's deadly milk allergy. So I won't bore you with the blah, blah, blah of that history. My daughter, on the other hand, is allergy-free but lives the life of a milk allergic kid. Why? Eh. It's easier that way. Safer too. But as both the kids grow, I've become more and more aware that my paranoia about Alex's allergy has inadvertently been transferred to Abby. Oops. It has been so second hat to me to keep her just as far from milk as Alex that I've almost become blind to the idea that milk won't hurt her. This weekend, as tradition seems to show, my father-in-law woke up on Saturday with the usual cravings for sugary goodness. Donuts. Dreaded donuts. Those blasted pastry concoctions are impossible to find dairy-free. So I've resorted to making donuts from scratch. Due to the deadly nature of donuts, miss Abby has also missed out on their sugary goodness. But this weekend, when the four large boxes of donuts were spread haphazardly across the table, she merrily crawled up into a chair to have one of her own. I, of course, was not present at the table as I tore through the kitchen attempting to find something of equal value to replace the lack of donuts for Alex. This is when Ben approaches me and quietly asks me if it's okay that Abby has a donut. Because like or not, she was already chowing down on one. It turns out that she popped her little hand into a box, picked out her very first donut, and proceeded to swallow it whole. Okay, so she did actually chew it, but I honestly don't believe that I've ever seen her eat anything so quickly in all her life. I must admit that when I was alerted to the situation, a mild wave of panic swept through me. I immediately did a mental run of what I needed to do in super-speed. Medical bag, dose of benedryl, epipen in hand for the anaphylactic shock and 911 on hold. Of course I didn't actually do any of that for Abby. But hey, I can't help it. Four years of constant milk radar doesn't slide so easily. After my brief moment of panic I shrugged and gave in to the inevitably obvious conclusion that has somehow evaded my mind for her 2 1/2 years. Abby isn't allergic to milk. Duh. Then the new panic set in. What if Alex sees? What if he cries? What if he doesn't understand why Abby is different than him? What if when I'm not looking he grabs a donut because she grabs a donut? Turns out that Alex didn't notice and all was right with the world. I suppose I'll have to face those questions some day but for now we'll just stay milk-free. And maybe when I'm feeling sneaky, I'll share a donut with Abby when big brother isn't looking.