Anti-Monster Spray

Do you ever do something in hopes of making your life easier and then realize that what you've done actually makes life more complicated? Perhaps that is the situation I have created. Let me start by saying that Alex has a well-developed fear of monsters. I'm quite sure most kids eventually assume there is something big and hairy lurking under their beds at night. Perhaps something scaly and slimy awaits in the deep dark of the closet. I remember believing there was a giant hairy gorilla coming in my window at night and rearranging my My Little Ponies. (Hey. It could happen.) That was when I began to cover my head when I slept. I'm not sure how long it took me to kick the habit, but I will say that the memories are still strong in my mind of just how hot it can get under your covers when you're terrified to breathe too loudly. So for months now, I wake up on average of four times a night to one or both kiddos screaming out for me in their rooms or running into my bedroom as they beg to sleep in the safety of my bed. Unfortunately, this has screwed up my sleeping pattern. Or rather, what's left of my sleeping pattern. Have you ever slept with two tiny feet whacking you in the back all night? Not easy. Not comfortable. Not cool. It's even worse when four tiny feet are doing it. Trust me when I say that if you haven't had kids yet and are getting ready to purchase a bed for the future, buy a king sized one. Queen just doesn't cut it. And for those of you that are worried about Josh's precious sleep, don't be. He gets half the bed and I get 1/8th of it...on a good night. So in a desperate attempt to sleep at night without the constant worry about those blasted monsters, I did some research. I found an idea to spray Anti-Monster Spray on your kid and their bed. I figured, what the heck! Can't hurt...right? Sure. The past few nights, I take a bottle of water and make a spraying sound as I spray down the kids. It's just pretend and nothing comes out of the bottle. But they don't know that. For three nights now I've only gotten up twice instead of four times and zero kids are in my bed in the morning. It's slowly working. It wouldn't be so bad except now I have two kids who are adamant about being sprayed at night. "Mommy! We need monster spray!" Great. Now I have to add yet another thing to their bedtime routine. It wouldn't be so bad, but each night they get more creative about where they need the spray. On the bed, under the bed, on the door, on the door frame, under their arms (because monsters really like the stinky places...their words. not mine.), on their Wiggle dolls, on their pillows, and of course on the blankets. *sigh* What, oh what, have I started? I'll let you know if it ever completely repels the monsters. Until then, I guess I'll be spraying for monsters regularly.