If I wrote a kid's book about the past two months...

...it would go something like this:

The Big Old Pile of Suck

By: Jessica Blogger

I woke up this morning and I asked life to send me a good day. I decided to get a puppy. I named him Titus. I loved that little puppy. But life sent everyone in my family a dog allergy. Everyone but me. I didn't like it, but I sent it back.

I woke up the next morning and I asked life to send me a good day. I sat down on the toilet and felt the floor move. Life rotted my bathroom floor and sent me loads of icky mold. I didn't like it. So I sent it back.


I woke up the next morning and asked life to please send me a good day. Life sent me a black widow infestation. I most assuredly didn't like it. So I sent it back.

I woke up the next morning and asked life to please, please send me a good day. Life ignored me and sent me shingles on my thigh. I definitely didn't like it. So I sent it back.

I woke up the next morning and asked life to pretty please with cherries on top send me a good day. Life continued to ignore me. It sent me a round of antibiotics. With that, life sent me a brand new shiny penicillin allergy. I liked this least of all. So I sent it back.

Now the next morning I woke up and begged life to find it in it's heart to send me just one good day. And it happened! Life sent me a beautiful new bathroom where you can sit on the toilet without falling to your doom. I loved it and thanked life for my good day.

So then the contractor sent me a bill for $2,900 for three hours of work.

I didn't like it.


So I sent it back.

(not really.)

The moral of the story? Nothing really. I just thought I'd share why I've avoided blogging...in children's book format. Cuz...ya know...I'm a writer. :-)

*Dedicated to Mandy. Because it was her idea. :-)*