Critters Ain't Just for Country Folks

Today, I got home from about a million errands. I went to set my purse down on the kitchen table when I hear two rather loud gasps from my kids and a chorus of, "Mommy! Look!" I look out to see both Alex and Abby staring, jaws agape, at something in the dining room on the carpet. I figured it was probably cat puke or something of the normal sort. But, as I have had black widow problems, I always go look just to be sure it's not something bearing that creepy red hour-glass shape with eight legs attached. As I look down I see, plain as day, a little snake slithering along towards Josh's computer desk. I said, "Holy buckets of cream chowder!" (It's better than cussing, right?) I did a two-second pan of the room searching for something to trap it with and opted for the crayon bucket. Out dumped the crayons and plop it went over the snake! So there I stood, one foot atop the bucket with my odd critter trapped beneath, two children dancing around excitedly about a snake in the house, and one husband taking a shower. As I didn't want to leave the trapped snake in the care of my kids, who would surely free it just to take a peek, I had to wait for Josh to grace us with his appearance.

Now let me explain something to you. Josh is terrified of snakes. One time, we were on a stroll around the block and he walked past a pulverized, quite dead snake. He jumped about three feet in the air and screamed like a terrified school girl. I, being the ever considerate, never joking wife (yeah, right), laughed and teased him all the way home. This is when I discovered his unparallelled fear for the slithery beasts. So when Josh got out of the shower and the kids told him about the snake, I see Josh walk out on the very opposite side of the house with the look of utter fear and shock on his face. I needed something like cardboard to slide under the bucket to pick up the snake so I required some slight assistance. I told Josh that I needed his help and to come here. He shook his head wildly and said, "I am NOT holding that bucket down!" I laughed a lot at his fear of the tiny baby garter snake trapped helplessly beneath the crayon bucket. But a fear, is a fear. So one plastic place-mat, a crayon bucket and Josh's big, brave wife later, our critter problem was outside and freed into the wild of the back alley behind our house.

 

Ain't he just terrifying?

This house has had some strange critters for being non-country living. A hawk that lived here all winter on our fence, bats that fly around our front yard at night, barn owls that enjoy our constant critter water supply, a fearless squirrel I've named Psycho-Crazy-Squirrel who you can walk right up to, a mama bunny and her babies that you can get one foot away from that live in our garage from time to time, a black widow infestation and now an indoor garter snake. Oddly enough, two of our five cats were watching the little snake slither across our our floor unfazed by it's presence. Consequently, Josh has officially fired all five of them. Josh is also watching every step he takes now in the house. Would it be cruel to use this experience as future fuel for a fun prank on him? Hee, hee, hee...I think not.