Sleep Deprivation

If I'd have known over seven years ago that I would never again sleep through a night, I would have taken my last night of sleep and made it last an entire week. Most new parents walk around like zombies for a few months as they adjust their lives around that wee little babe they've brought home. Then after a few months, they begin to train that little babe to sleep in their crib. After the first year, they generally have this perfect little bedtime routine with this perfect little child who sleeps a perfectly undisturbed night away awaking to perfectly rested parents in the morning. Everyone goes skipping to the breakfast table, refreshed and revitalized.

Then there's me.

I started out with these expectations. Oh yes. Then I had my first child in the dead of winter with a bedroom that, despite central heat, remained ten degrees cooler than the rest of the house. That shivering little boy would be snuggled with me almost nightly just to keep him warm. Three kids later, I'm a co-sleeper. What the heck?? I don't know how it happened. It just did. One night a little over a year ago, I was so tired from staying up with very sick kids that I just gave up and let Evie sleep with me. Fast forward one year. Well...I'm tired. That's about where I am. I've tried "cry it out". Didn't work. I've tried bedtime routines. Didn't work. I've tried just about every trick and still can't get that kid to sleep through the night. Oh, don't go and think that it must be just Evie. Because it's not. Alex and Abby frequently visit my room/bed on a nightly basis. Whether it's nightmares or something as simple as just wanting to "be with mom", I can't seem to keep these kids out of my room at night.

Here's the funny thing about it. Josh, God love him, is a snorer. Not just the little cute snores that escape on occasion. The full-on, wake the dead, shake the windows, oh-my-gosh-I'm-going-to-smother-him-with-a-pillow kind or snorer. Yes. It's that loud. And you know what? Evie sleeps right through it like she's listening to an "Ocean Waves at Sunset" white noise CD. When I go to bed, I become a ninja. I sneak into the bed, avoiding every creaky board and random toy on the floor. I can avoid any and every sound that the bed can make. Heck, I can even brush my teeth and go pee in perfect silence. But the second my head hits that pillow - boom! Awake! So this leads me to believe one thing. They smell fear. Not only do they smell fear, but they are drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Why fear? Because I'm a night owl at heart. I enjoy my after hours break (if you want to call it a break). As the clock draws near to that dreaded moment when I know I must go to bed, I become afraid. Afraid that the slightest movement or sound will wake my little raptors up. My head hits that pillow and within moments, one to three children are sneaking into bed or crying out for me.

I. Am. Exhausted.

So, either I'm a big ol' whopping failure at this whole parenting thing, or my children are perfectly happy with the low end of the "normal hours of sleep" chart. I'm guessing the latter. Soon, I will be purchasing a bunk bed for Alex and Abby and moving Evie into her big girl bed. She's decided that her crib is better left alone and will climb to the top, nearly falling over the side. She doesn't have the dexterity to throw one leg over and climb out gracefully just yet. Yay for me.

Oh listen. There's Evie now. It's 10:30 and she's screaming in her crib for the third time since I put her to bed.

Man, I'm tired.

And this is why. Yep. That's my bed. And Left to Right: Abby, Alex, Evie, our fatso cat Logan.