Wanna know how hot it is?

It's so hot that our friendly neighborhood squirrels are using the bird bath as their own personal pool with a view.

Yep. It's that hot. And believe me when I say that this image can be seen five times a day when you look out the front door. It makes me laugh. Hope it made you smile too. Happy heat wave!

The Itsy Bitsy Infestation

My not so itsy bitsy spider encounter from the other night turned out to be a rather large problem. Mr. Bug Man came to my house right on time and took a look at my dead spiders. Yes. That is 'spiders' with an 's'. Just five minutes before Mr. Bug Man arrived, I went to turn on the water faucet again only to find another creepy looking spider (much smaller) climbing up the wall. Needless to say, without any hesitation, I whacked it with my shoe. After it twitched it's last twitch, I examined it only to find that bright red color staring back up at me. Mr. Bug Man informed me that they were both female black widows. He was so impressed with the size of the first one that he expressed severe disappointment in it's untimely death. He wished that I'd captured it alive. Alive!?! What?!? Is this guy insane!?! He wanted to send it to the extension office as a live example for display. So Mr. Bug Man then proceeded to take a look in our carport and immediately found another black widow nest. He looked at me, smiling, and said, "Yeah. I was going to use the low impact spray on the outside of the house. I'm gonna use the heavy duty stuff if you don't mind." I agreed. Half way around the house he came back to tell me that he'd already killed five more black widows. Three big mama's and two smaller ones. I thought he was joking, but no. Not a chance. He proceeded to tell me that we were dealing with a large infestation and that he hadn't seen one this bad in a while. So...I freaked out internally as I stared blankly at him. Inside my head I was screaming like a teenage girl who was grounded from a Justin Bieber Concert. Oustide my head, I smiled and thanked him for taking care of the situation so quickly. He advised me to let my neighbors know and to notify the poor souls that are going under my house in two weeks to redo my bathroom floor. (Our whole bathroom floor rotted out. It's a miracle we haven't yet fallen through the floor while sitting on the toilet.) Yep. Bathroom floor falling underground, air conditioner on the fritz, and now a black widow spider infestation. Anyone want to buy a house? I'll give you a great deal. As long as you don't mind your roommates being deadly, poisonous, creepy, eight-legged menaces that may or may not kill you when you're not looking then you'll love it here.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

...climbed up the water spout. Literally. It did. And it's been climbing up the same water spout for at least a month now. I have a water spout outside the carport that has had a nice thick web, perfect for keeping the ugly buggies away, under and around it for around a month or two. I'd never actually seen the spider that resides there but Didn't really give it too much thought. Last night Josh and I were outside trying to fix our AC. (I didn't help. I just turned the hose on for Josh to clean it out.) When I reached down to turn the faucet on, I saw a quarter-sized spider right by my hand. In the glow of the outdoor floodlight, I saw how incredibly pitch-black and down-right creepy this thing was. When the water turned on, the leaky drip caused the spider to turn tail and run back to the other side of it's web. As it turned upside down I caught a faint glimmer of something bright red. And as you should all know, bright red is not normally a good color in the animal kingdom. And in spider kingdom? Even worse. I jumped back and began an hour-long eebie-jeebie dance upon realization of what I had just found. The one...the only...the deadly Black Widow spider. At first I was hesitant to believe that I saw what I thought I saw. Trick of the mind perhaps? So I searched for it to no avail. The dripping water was keeping it at bay. We turned the light and water off and waited half an hour. I went back out there, flipped the light on and it was back. In all it's terrifying hideousness...there it was. No doubt about it. That red hour glass shape was staring right back at me and I commenced with my eebie-jeebie dance. It's web was so thick that I couldn't get my foot anywhere near it to smash it without alerting it. So I called my folks. Mom said she'd bring over a can of wasp/scorpion killer spray. Shoots twenty feet. My kind of weapon. My dad, hearing about this, was super giddy at the prospect of seeing a live black widow and came over too. That's my dad for ya though. It took three hits from the spray to kill that nasty thing. After the first two hits it slowly tried to climb back out. I did feel a tiny bit of guilt as I believe she was keeping my ant problem at bay. But I'd take ants over deadly black widows in a heart beat. Needless to say, I've called an exterminator and he'll be out to check and spray tomorrow afternoon. I took the lid off the butter container I'm keeping it in until he gets here so that I could take a picture to prove I'm not weaving a tall tale. I took the lid off, took the picture, put the lid back on and then did another eebie-jeebie dance. The Mid-west and black widows. huh. Who knew?

The cage Review: Drive Angry

Wow. If there was ever a movie where at the end of it you say, "Wow...that's totally not what I thought it was going to be," then Drive Angry (2011) was most certainly it. In the description of the movie, nowhere does it indicate a supernatural action thriller. After I got done watching the movie this is the exact moment I had reenacted in text form to the best of my ability:

"Um..."


*crickets*

Yeah. That about covers it. The description in the Netflix world said it was about a man (Nicolas Cage) who escapes prison to seek vengeance on the cult members who murdered his daughter. So...yeah...I expected a movie about a guy who...well...did just that. What they fail to mention is that by escaping "prison" they really mean "hell". No. Seriously. Not metaphorically. Literally. As much as I hate giving away details that would otherwise spoil the surprises of a movie, I feel I must at the very least give away a few smidgens of info. 1. Nicolas Cage, named Milton in this movie, has, in fact, escaped from hell. 2. The cult members are psychos in every sense of the word and are trying to sacrifice Milton's infant granddaughter, because...well...that's what this cult does. 3. There's a guy with supernatural abilities called The Accountant (William Fichtner) who is after Milton to take him back to hell and whistles silly tunes as he drives. (Seriously.) 4. There is a whole lot of things in this movie that only a select group of people would otherwise enjoy (i.e. blood, blood, nudity, and more blood.) Milton is off to eradicate this cult and save the infant and place her in the hands of someone (Cage's co-star and unlady-like and unsuspecting partner in vengeance) who will raise her and love her after he goes back to "jail". I can't say it has a happy ending. But it was a...um...how do I word this? It was an ending where the bad guys lost and the baby lives. Does that work?

As much as I love Nicolas Cage, I must say that this was an odd one. But! True to my word, I will watch all of his movies and with the great ones come the slightly odd and wrongly described ones. I can't say that I would recommend this movie to anyone, but it did keep me interested. I, like so many of the good people of this world, have become moderately desensitized to blood and naughty language. But there was a bit more of both in it than I have tolerance for. There were some moments that left me out of my comfort zone and I'll avoid watching this one again in the future. Thanks Mr. Cage for your acting versatility, but I gotta go with a 2 star rating. Because as it says on the chart...eh, it has Cage in it.

Heat

Let me start by saying that I will not be complaining about the heat. So don't let my post title deceive you. I don't mind the excessive temperatures that we are having. Actually, I most definitely prefer the steamy heat waves to the bitter cold snaps. I cope with heat quite well. Here's the problem: I have been forced to use air conditioning for years now. Though I may tolerate the heat, well...Josh? Not so much. He's more than happy to live with the technology of air conditioning. I mean, heck. He is a heating an air conditioning guy, right? And with children came allergies. With allergies came the need to block the outdoor air out. Open windows + allergies = bad time for Alex. So here I sit in my 77 degree house all summer long. Apparently the years have slowly desensitized me to the effects of air conditioning. Those effects hit me this weekend. It's hay season which means I get to go on my annual trip to the fields in the blistering heat and work my butt off under a blazing sun. Generally I do just fine. Keep in mind this is one of the biggest heat waves we've had in a while. (Actually I have to tell myself that to make myself feel better about what I'm about to say.) At the end of the first day of hay hauling, I sat down for one last break before unloading the last 30 bales of hay. I began to get nauseous. I could feel the water I'd just guzzled swirling around in my over-heated belly while mixing with a torment of acid. Not good. I stood up and felt the world begin to spin. Dizzy now. Great. My head had already been pounding for an hour or two and the bright flashing warning signs starting making sense in my head. I'd suddenly felt as though I'd just been run over.

What did they say in my first aid class? Oh yeah...heat exhaustion. Yep. That was it. Ugh...

I went inside to cool down but it just wasn't helping. I got home later and tried to feel better. It took pretty much all night for me to feel half as good as I should have felt. Two days later it was back into the field for round two. Luckily we had our faithful annual hay hands Tommy and Chris to help. And then there's my mom. *sigh* My mother. She's got to be one of the toughest women I know. She's got 25 years on me and could run circles around me while juggling flaming pitchforks without even stopping for a break. Of course, she was pulling the 'mom card' with me and made me drive instead of stack hay (my normal job) in hopes of keeping me from dying...or some blather like that. So here's my mom...working the job that should be mine because of my frustrating new found weakness. Granted, once we got the hay loaded I had to work my buns off unloading the two trailers, but it was evening so heat exhaustion wasn't really going to be an issue. Of course, I fully plan on never letting this happen again. In a last desperate attempt to not feel like the weak link, I will blame the only thing I can. Air conditioning. They call it 'air conditioning' because the cool air is meant to condition you in to needing it. Oh well. I'm gonna go curl up in a blanket on the couch now. It's freezing in here.

When Captain America was 4...

Not long ago I did a photo of Alex as Green Lantern. Well, he's been begging me to get him a Captain America costume. This kid is insanely obsessed with playing dress up. Especially super heroes. Seeing as how I don't want to spend an absurd amount of money on a costume (it's garage sale or bust for these bad boys), I decided to make him one. One cardboard cat litter box, some paint, blue cloth and an hour of sewing later, I made him an absolutely hideous replica of the Captain America mask. Of course, I then went on to play in photo shop to get something a bit like his Green Lantern picture. Of course he loves it and wants to look at the photos often. Alex...what a character.

Wiggly Wrap Up

All in all, going to the Wiggles was a wonderful time. I must say that having two kids the age Alex and Abby are helped. Last year, Abby was still in her 'I don't know if I'm ready to be a big girl' stage. This year, it was much easier and a lot more fun. I'm glad that we took the time and effort to take this trip. Vacations are few and far between for us and if a two day trip is what it takes to keep a tradition, then that's what it will be. It was fast. It was crazy. It was hot as can be. But above all else...it was fun. It's kind of sad to think that one day the kiddos won't be interested in the Wiggles anymore. I will miss those days. For now I'll just treasure the moment and we'll continue to go for as many years as we can. Shoot...at this rate, it looks like the Wiggles will be around when my kids have kids. Jeff Wiggle had a pacemaker put in and is still wiggling! He'll probably still be around in 20 more years wiggling. So there's always takin' the grandkids, right? Thanks Wiggles! You made our little family trip one to remember. Until next year!

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Alex's favorite. He does all the motions just like his hero Sam.

They end the show with their most famous song, Hot Potato. Parents and children alike get to dance to this one. You see that Josh wasn't shy in taking my picture. No comments on the blog so I'm afraid I won't be posting a video. I'm sure you are all devastated.

One last shot of the Wiggles before it's over.

And then the classic confetti explosion ending.

Everyone, including me, reaches out for the confetti rain. It's magical, really.

And someone was nice enough to take our family photo for us. I hope to have this same photo every year as the kids grow. Good times.