A Gross Little Blog

For anyone out there who might be slightly offended by the disgusting things that kids can do, you might want to wait this blog out until the next time I post. However, this is a major part of my life right now (or for the last two years), so I figure I might as well write about it. That way, many years from now, I can pull up the blog and share this with Alex and Abby when they have their own kids who do disgusting things and ask me, "Mom, did we do this when were little? Cuz it's totally disgusting." And I can say, "Why, let me pull up your old blog and share with you some of the joyful things I had to witness." So this is what I am doing. I am going to share with you a few of the disgusting little things that I've had to handle for the last couple of years.

• No list of gross things that kids do can be complete without the first one. Alex at one year, eating cat poop. Why? I mean...seriously. Why??
  
• Eating mud. Both of the kids constantly feel it is necessary to see if each chunk of mud they find is a different flavor. Luckily Alex isn't doing this anymore.
• Eating sand by the scoopful. And by the way, it's just as gross going in as it is going out.
• Drinking the birdbath water or...during the winter...eating birdbath ice.
  
• Abby, during Alex's early potty training, decided that picking up the removable part of the potty chair and drinking her brother's old pee (that I didn't know was in there until too late), was a good idea. It happened in slow motion, folks. Nothing I could do about it.
• Just a few days ago I woke up to two very quiet kids sitting on the bathroom counter. I hear Alex say this, "Hey, this is good toothpaste!" followed by Abby, "Yeah, good!" I jumped out of bed to find them eating the baby toothpaste. It had a screw on cap people!! What the heck?!?
• The day after the toothpaste incident after putting everything on the counter way up high, I go in to find Abby on the bathroom counter...again. What is she eating? The only thing left to eat. The foaming hand soap! Disgusting. (No worries...she's fine. It was only one pump worth from what I could tell).
• Alex, now peeing standing up, was in the bathroom relieving himself. I went in to make sure he didn't need help, only to find Abby standing beside him with a cup...catching everything she could! *sigh*
• Eating old nasty cat litter. Yup...that one is from both kids too.
• Eating bugs/earthworms/spiders. Alive and dead. The worst was when Abby ate a brown recluse. It was still twitching in her mouth when she showed me. (I just got a shiver down my spine.) Hey...it's protein, right?
  
• Handing me wriggling spiders that aren't anywhere being dead. (Oooh! Wow! Watch mommy jump!)
• Using their toothbrushes to scrub out the nasty sink drain...then putting the brush in their mouth.
• Dipping bananas in ketchup...and enjoying it.
  
• Licking store windows/floors.
• Eating an old french fry that was on the ground outside in our car port. (At least I know it was from our van and not the wal-mart parking lot, right?)
• Eating chalk. This one is almost all Abby.
• Sucking on an old, used dryer sheet. Hey, this one was off my clock. It was at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Not my fault!
  
• And finally, what would this list be without...eating boogers...and saying "Mmm, mom! Those are good boogers!"

It's all true folks. What truly baffles me is that these kids can eat every nasty thing they can possibly find, but when it come to eating their dinner, they won't touch a thing. And now after reviewing this list, I can't help but wonder something. How do kids survive into adulthood after stuff like this?