Raising Hobbits

If you have ever read or seen The Lord of the Rings, then you must be familiar with hobbits. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote quite a lot about those slightly smaller than average characters and one of their most prominent characteristics is that of their never ending appetites. Always hungry. That's what they are. A little over four years ago before I gave birth to my first child, I was quite obsessed with Lord of the Rings and my favorite characters were, of course, the hobbits. Oh, at first glance the elves are fierce and beautiful with stealthy aim. But once the luminescence of their forever grace wears off, you realize that hobbits are...well...so much cooler. Perhaps 'realistic' is more appropriate. What I didn't realize after having kids was that I would, in fact, be raising two of my very own hobbits. Much like hobbits, they have massively huge feet that grow out of shoes quicker than I can buy them. Though they lack the thick coat of hair atop their feet, they do prefer to go shoeless at any given time and one would be hard pressed to actually find them wearing shoes in the warmer seasons. My kids prefer dirt of the earth over the clean floors of the indoors. But most importantly, the greatest similarity between my children and those wonderful ficticious characters is this: They love to eat. A hobbits daily eating schedule goes something like this according to Pippin: Breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, and dinner. I imagine that this is the 'grown up' hobbit food schedule as hobbit children seem to need an added food break in between those from time to time. Today, Alex and Abby had breakfast when they woke up. One hour later they needed a second breakfast. In between this, they had a small snack (healthy one of fruit of course). This, of course, must have been the elevensies as that was the time they needed food. Next was lunch, or luncheon in hobbit terms. Afternoon tea is really just my kids' next snack time when they eat yet another piece of fruit or crackers. Dinner follows promptly and if not served quick enough a sharp case of the grumpies takes over. If dinner is served much later than 6:00 p.m. then my legs become welcome chew toys. I have the scars on my ankles. Remind me to show you someday. One hour after a well rounded dinner tonight, my wee ones decided to raid the fridge and both came running at me, each carrying a large carrot in their hands. They ate them then proceeded to need a quick banana snack that is required for book reading time. Whew! Is anyone else tired yet? I swear I never stop cooking or preparing food in this house. I suppose that's just what I should have expected when raising two hobbits.

A Touch of Spring

There was a slight touch of spring in the air today and for this I could not be more grateful. After a quick breakfast of dry cereal and left over chocolate chip pancakes, we put our coats on I herded the kiddos outside. They were reluctant at first. I can't blame them for this as the last two to three months have been more than just a little chilly. They take after me and my deep dislike of the freezing temperatures. We started out in our coats and by the time nap time rolled around we were all merrily enjoying the borrowed spring sun in a single layer of clothes. It was wonderful to spend most of the day outside. The kids were happy. I was happy. And Josh was happy to have us out of his hair for the majority of the day. He's not exactly the outdoors type so decided to tinker around on the computer while we soaked up the sun. How healthy. I know. I also know that this is only a brief glimpse of spring as I just looked at the forecast and saw a snow icon for Monday. But I'll take it. Tomorrow I want to expand our sandbox with donated supplies (thanks Mandy and thanks mom and dad). When spring officially kicks in I will be getting a big ol' cheap load of quarry sand to fill it up with the hopes of two seasons of entertainment for the the wee ones. No special store-bought-kid friendly sand for us. I can honestly say that somehow, in some strange way, sun makes me happy. Literally...makes me. Once those golden rays slap me in the face, it's like I have a new wave of energy and joy in even the most annoying of times. Those rays of sunshine slap me around as if saying, "Yo! Snap out of it, dummy! It ain't that bad!" (Yes...in my head the sun has poor vocabulary skills. Because...ya know...the sun can talk in my head.) Here's hoping that the groundhog predicts an early spring. I've got my garden planned out and my days filled with things to do. Bring on the groundhog!

Deja Vu

Today was a big day for my little girl. She woke up and walked up to me with a pair of her underwear, a smile on her face and said, "I don't want to wear a diaper mommy. I want to wear underwear." First of all, her ability to form full, coherent sentences is fascinating. I sometimes don't realize that she is almost three years old. Second of all, I haven't been asking her to wear underwear as I attempt to not be a 'pusher'. Don't get me wrong. I would love nothing more than to stop spending the outrageous amounts of money that it costs to diaper a kid. Though, I must admit, the idea of no more diapers sort of makes me sad. It means that there are no more babies in my house and my smallest is growing up. So needless to say, when she asked for the underwear I was more than willing to oblige. What I didn't expect was that she would go the entire day without an accident. A few gentle reminders throughout the day was all it took. She wore a diaper for her nap, but other than this, she stayed dry. Woo-hoo! Go Abby!

So what is so strange about this day to me is the fact that it is as close to Deja vu you can get without actually experiencing Deja vu. At almost exactly the same time during Alex's nearing third birthday, he was doing this exact thing. He just up one day and potty trained. No looking back. In fact, so many of the things that Abby is doing, I vividly recall going through with Alex at almost this precise time. The dreaded terrible-two temper tantrums are at the very peak of what a two and three year old stands for. The constant time-outs, the never ending battles with food. These are all things that Alex left behind him only to find Abby quickly filling that void. Temper tantrums are few and far between with Alex. He's quite a good little kid for what it's worth. The pleases, thank yous and you're welcomes are music to my ears on a daily basis. Abby is right on track so I imagine that in 1 1/2 years I'll be seeing the same thing with her. It's just amazing to watch this happen with two little blessings in my life. Deja vu or not. I love my kids. There's only one thing to say about being a mom. Greatest. Job. On. Earth.

Well that's just not what I said.

You hear pastors and preachers tell jokes of kids misinterpreting what they heard. You get a quick giggle and then wonder if just by chance they might have made it all up. Perhaps someone more clever than a child came up with a book of 'Funny things kids would say if kids really thought about it.' Turns out that the more time I spend with kids, the more I am inclined to believe that they do, in fact, often misinterpret things. Of course, others are spot on for many interpretations, but that's another subject entirely. Yesterday I was finding creative ways to play with the kiddos when I came across a multi-colored line of fabric. A rainbow of colors if you will. Alex, being four years old, is very much thrilled to spend his days pretending to be many different characters that he has A.) seen on TV, or B.) made up from a conglomeration of things he has seen and/or experienced (or heard from Grandpa). One thing he is very excited about is hunting. As I am not a hunter and neither is my husband, I can only assume he got this from my dad. The closest I've come to hunting is when I catch a fish that dies from swallowing the hook or aiding my parents in axe-free chicken butchering. (Don't ask.) Needless to say, Alex runs amok through the house pretending to attack things as stealthily as he can. Playing along in my own geeky way, I proceeded to tie the rag around his forehead and said, "Okay buddy. Now you're Rambo! Go show dad!" Alex then proceeded to run, with all excitement in his voice, through the house to Josh yelling, "Hey dad! I'm a rainbow! I'm a rainbow!" So yeah...that's not what I said. But it made sense...from a four-year old perspective.

Girls Night Out

Even in the hardest of times, some days all you really need for a fresh start to the next week is a good old fashioned girls night out. With winter brings colds. And as a disheartening result, play dates and the such are kicked to the curb. To make matters even more trying, the joyful days of park outings are few and far between until the sun can bring the bitter temperatures back up to non-frostbite conditions. During the summer I must admit that I take the constant pleas for park trips for granted. I will look at these days different this summer. But back to my original point. With life on its temporary winter hiatus, we, as mothers (and stay at home dads as well), find the days to be just a tad bit more wearing. Boredom to children is almost as devastating as a nasty virus. It wears on them. Luckily, kids need not fear the ugly wrinkles that come with the stress we feel as adults. As a last ditch effort to escape from the mundane weekend, I loaded the kiddos up to visit Grandma and Grandpa for a few hours. Not only did it give Josh some well needed time apart from us, but it also gave the kids something to do. As I've said before...grandparents are awesome! I took a brief moment to escape to Mandy's house while the kids played with my folks so I could pick something up from her. When she walked out the door to meet me, I saw the same look on her face that I felt on mine. We needed...and I do mean needed...to get away. I suggested a night out to grab something to eat and once more I saw the look in my heart mirrored on her face. The best way to describe the prospect of getting out without kids for a while is like this: It is as if you feel a little ball of light in your heart and as the day dwindles down to the last moments before you leave, that ball of light takes completely over you and you practically run from the house and skid out the driveway laughing all the way. Okay, so perhaps that's a bit much. But just a bit really. We ended up going to watch Harry Potter for our second time (just as good on round two) and then grabbing a nice bite to eat afterward. Our hubbys got the joy-joy evening of putting the kids to bed. Thanks to the husbands for such a wonderful gift, by the way. I can't speak for Mandy, but I know that for me it was a great night out. I sometimes believe that those little nights out are what fuels us to do our best as parents through the next months of crazy kids. I love my kids and husband more than I ever thought possible. But sometimes, no matter how much you love spending time with them...you just need a girls night out.

Today's post has been brought to you by...

Weekly Creature Feature!

The truth of the matter is that I'm simply not cool enough to actually spend enough time to blog on two separate sites in the same night. Wait a second. I think I just did blog on two sites in the same night. Oh well. So please click on the above link if you are finding yourself unnaturally desperate to see a blog post from little ol' me. That is, unless you're opposed to shameless acts of self-promotion.

Cavity #1 filled: check!

I was one proud mama today! I took my four-year old son to the dentist to get his first of six cavities filled today. If you don't know me then you should know that one of my completely legit yet totally irrational fears is none other than the dreaded dentist. There's almost nothing I hate more than going to the dentist and sitting in their torture chamber awaiting the inevitable pain an suffering they will surely cause me. I have a history of randomly odd issues with my teeth. From shattered baby teeth and sideways impacted wisdom teeth to cracked roots and abnormal nerve patterns, I have had enough issues that I developed a massive fear of the dreaded tooth doctor. Granted, things have changed. Drills no longer sound like medieval torture devices and dental hygienists no longer learn their bedside manner from Roach Motel Clerk Manners 101. So today when I took my sweet little boy to get his teeth worked on I had to hide my own personal stigmas deep within my psyche so as not to freak him out. They took him back on his own and came to get me later so that I could be on hand (well hidden so Alex couldn't see the sweat dripping down my forehead). I needed to be there to administer asthma medication should he get over excited and need it. I sat behind the wall and listened to them work away for a whopping 15-20 minutes on him and never once heard the deafening sound of the drill grinding away at his young teeth. So when they said, "Okay buddy! You're all done!" I almost hit the floor from shock. He did fabulous! Not a peep or a tear or even a whimper. They said he is a wonderful patient. He definitely doesn't get that from his mama. I actually busted a dentist's chair once from my nervous kung-fu death grip on the arm rest. Oops. My bad. But hey...occupational hazard, right? I'm sure their insurance covered it. Alex came out smiling with his sticker and 'brave kid' card. I was positively beaming. Of course, my heart was still on adrenaline overdrive and I spent the better part of the drive home feeling my heart skip beats from the overload of blood pulsing through my body. I know he wasn't one bit nervous, but I thought I might have to swallow my heart back down during the whole thing. I would have rather sat in the waiting room, but they requested me to be near. Nevertheless, he goes back next month for his second round of what they told Alex, "cleaning out the cavity bugs'. I am so proud of that little guy. He's just growing up so fast.

Project Grizzly Adams

Have I mentioned lately that Josh is still unemployed? No? I suppose I just assumed that everyone would already have figured that out. Trust me, the day he gets a job you will see a post on here titled something like, 'Hallelujah!' or 'No cardboard box house for us!'. It will also include a picture of me leaping into the air from elation or even a picture of me doing a happy little jig of joy. And no...I'm not kidding. You might be wondering what week of unemployment we are on, but honestly I have no answer for you as I've lost count of the seemingly endless days. Honestly I believe the days are longer simply for the fact that it is winter and we don't have ways to occupy the kids as easily. This is how I'm judging the time now. For work, when Josh actually has work, he has to remain presentable to a certain degree. The first couple of weeks with out a job, he still shaves and trims his beard and mustache. Then slowly but certainly, the days between shaving become further and further apart until one day I wake up to realize that I may have inadvertently married Grizzly Adams in some odd sleepwalking experience that I have no recollection of. I didn't really take notice of the extra fuzz on his face until today. You see, when you walk around a wee little house for around three months with someone, you stop making eye contact quite as often as you used to. I stopped this morning and looked at Josh's face to realize that his beard has become slightly out of control. It's not like he's pickin' food out of it at midnight for that extra unplanned snack, but it has become quite long as of late. When I asked if he planned on trimming it up any time soon, he didn't seem all that concerned about it. I found myself giggling and told him that I think he should grow it out until he gets a job just to see how long it can get. The idea is to take a picture of his face at the end of each round of unemployment and use it as a chart to judge how long he's actually been without work. Now, to anyone else, this may seem as though we've become...well...delusional and quite frankly off our rockers. But it's actually kind of putting a fun spin on the down time. I'm interested to see how long it gets. Now, if one day I'm sitting around and look over to find a small creature nestled in his beard, I might get concerned. Until then....let's pray he needs to break out the beard trimmer sometime soon.

The oven timer in my head

First Snow of the Winter

We officially had the first snow of the winter and it was a nice one. Not too much, not too little. You know the kind. Just enough to close all of the schools, but not enough to keep you in the house. The kids were beyond excited when they saw snow falling from the sky. They were outside playing in the snow before it had a chance to accumulate. They jumped into the air with their mouths gaping, hoping to catch the icy flakes in their mouths. The morning after it began, I was woken up to the words, "Mom! There's snow on the ground! Can we go outside and build a snowman?" Naturally the snow was too light and fluffy to even make a snowball, let alone a snowman. But with the sun, comes higher temperatures that make the icy fluff just the right consistency to build old Frosty. Sadly, I didn't get the leaves raked up a second time in our yard and the snowmen ended up appearing as though they could pass as mudmen. But the kids didn't care. Alex even wanted a picture of him hugging mine.


I shall call him the clean snowman. Now as for Josh's snowman, well...I'm fairly certain I know why Alex didn't want to hug his.
That's one dirty snowman. If you are wondering what he was trying to pull off, it was a snowman that buried another snowman in the ground. I'm not sure if we are going to get another snow for the winter, but Alex and Abby are ready for it under one condition from Alex. He requests a pair of snow boots like Abby. (only not pink.) I told him I'm on it.

Disney Fail

Movie night isn't every Friday night, but we've been doing it more and more often. The kids really do look forward to that big heaping bowl of fresh popcorn (old school...none of that fancy shmancy microwave stuff.) Sadly though, we are running out of new movies to watch. How many times can one person watch...and enjoy...Cars or The Black Stallion? We do, however, have quite a number of movies supposedly suitable for children that our kiddos have yet to watch. Last week we dusted off our old copy of Aladdin. They sat through most of it, but the yawns seemed to come earlier than with the modern digital cartoons. Tonight we decided to bust out The Lion King. It is a cartoon and it is created by Disney. Those two things hand in hand usually equal a kid-friendly movie. Obviously, I was wrong. As for me, I still have a hard time watching the whole 'murder-a-parent' moment when Mufasa bites the big one to visit the ol' Pride Rock in the sky. What I was not prepared for was being bombarded with questions about what happened to 'Simba's daddy', as my children called him. Well, naturally they explain in the movie that he is dead and that is when I had two children curled up under under my arms, lips pouting out in the staple 'sad face' moment and then have them tell me that they didn't like this movie. Could someone please explain to me what exactly Disney finds so horrific about having two living, healthy, happy parents? Seriously. Let's think about this. Finding Nemo's mom was killed by an evil baracuda. Belle didn't even mention a mother. Cinderella's mom and dad died and her stepmother was evil. Lilo's parents (Lilo and Stitch) died in some kind of accident. Not even Andy from Toy Story has two parents but just a mom. Oh, and let's not forget the most notorious moment when Bambi's mom was gunned down by a hunter. And don't even get me started on Tarzan showing the deaths of not only the parents but the innocent baby Gorilla. I know that it's how the book was, but let's try and clean it up a little for the kids, Disney. Sheesh. There's nothing so wonderful as watching a cute little baby gorilla being attacked and eaten by a leopard. Ahh...heartwarming, isn't it? I still can't manage to explain that one to Alex. So tonight when Alex told me he didn't like Lion King because the dad died, I had a hard time disagreeing with him. Not only was it a movie night Fail, it was a major Disney fail. As much as I like the movie myself, I'm not sure I feel good about letting the kids watch it again anytime soon. Sorry Disney, but you need to learn to love the parents. I understand keeping it real, but if that's really what they were striving for then why do the ants in A Bug's Life only have four legs when they obviously have six in reality? You can't really sum that up with 'the circle of life.' Disney fail.

The long dark of Moria

How can I not be smiling?

Even when life isn't playing nice, I just look at these faces and smile. How can I not smile when they look at me with the joy of life in their eyes? As I was going through the pictures to see what kind of things I could slap on the blog for the day, I caught myself smiling just for the sake of seeing those sweet, innocent smiles staring back at me. Even on their worst days, when meltdowns come a dime a dozen and bumps and bruises just never seem to end, they still bring me joy. I thank God for them every day.

Thanks Aunt Mandy! It's a hit!

My cuddle bug still at nearing three years old.

Joy is a cardboard box and a pillow on the floor.

Weekly Creature Feature

Time for the morality question of the day. Is it wrong to use your blog to plug someone else's blog who's meager attempt is to promote themselves? Answer: Not if your plugging your own second blog! A couple of weeks back I mentioned my new goal to start a new blog dedicated to my failed career choice. Oops. Did I say that out loud just now? Perhaps 'failed' is too strong of a word. Maybe something more along the lines of 'poor career choice.' Yes. Yes, that's definitely better. Let's face it. The art world is a fickle place where elephants can make more money than a person with actual talent. So tonight I am plugging my other blog. It is officially up and running. I have posted my first 'creature of the week' and am eager for...well...nothing really. It's mostly just something I'm doing for myself, but you never know who might stumble upon it. So feel free to visit my new blog. My hope is to update it weekly, but I'm not going to make any promises. On the weeks where kids take up too much time and my pillow has been screamed into one too many nights, I will post older art that I'm personally happy with. So go on over and take a look!

(click on the link below)

Weekly Creature Features

Christmas 2010 in Photos

Here are some pictures of our Christmas. Despite the hard times with unemployment, we still managed to have a pretty awesome Christmas for the kids. The key is...lots of price shopping and Craigslist. I think Santa was pretty kind to the wee ones.

Opening stockings. Slinkys!

Santa brought a train table and a couple of 'Black Stallions' for Abby. (That is what she calls them.)

Yes. We bought our 2 1/2 year old a TV series on DVD. And she watches it every single day. She picked this out at the library once and has been in love since. The Black Stallion is her George of the Jungle.

Tractor overload...and he loves it.

Horse overload...and she loves it too.

The kids each bought Josh something. Alex picked out a coffee mug he saw on an end cap at Wal-Mart and Abby picked M&M's. They picked on their own. Cute stuff.

Just to throw a random photo in of proof that I really was there on Christmas. (And very wrinkly too so it seems...hmmm...)

Santa stayed up making a new Wiggles Sam outfit for Alex. When he opened it he was so excited he ran full speed into his room to change. lol...funny stuff.

Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's house with Uncle Aaron. They sure do love that place.

We got Christmas blankets for my folks and dad fell asleep in his almost within the hour. Alex and Abby wanted to curl up with him. What would we do without grandpa?

And the Black Stallion hasn't left Abby's side yet. She takes it everywhere. Seriously. Everywhere.

Blogger Fail

So I was uploading all of the photos from my camera tonight when I realized that I never blogged about Christmas. Okay, so I blogged about Christmas, but what I didn't blog about were the wonderful photos I got of the celebrations. And I had some cute ones in there too. As I am kind of lacking in things I feel like blogging about at the moment, I can start slapping some fun photos up to bide my time until I feel all writer-like again. It's way too late to go finding all of those photos and I have way too many loads of laundry to fold screaming my name from the laundry room. And trust me...my laziness has nothing to do with the minuscule fact that I only have one movie left to watch in the epic Lord of the Rings trilogy that can't possibly wait for another night. *ahem* Yes...so...maybe that has everything to do with my laziness. But the one ring waits for no one. Until tomorrow when I correct my blogger fail moment, here's a pic to tide you over if you are just too anxious to see pictures of my beautiful children.

And here it comes

The first snow of winter is in the forecast and I am actually ready for it. The kids have been asking where all the snow is and they are actually quite excited to play in it. Seriously though, what kid isn't excited to play in the snow? Heck, even I'm a little giddy at the prospect of building a snowman. Besides, building a snowman is more fun when there are kids there to enjoy it as well. I just hope we have enough 'snow gear' to play outside. They've both outgrown the only snow pants we've ever owned and I'm not certain either of them have a trusty pair of snow boots to warm their tiny toes. Is that a fail on my mom role or are snow boots not as common as I think? I suppose part of the reason that snow doesn't seem as worrisome as it used to be is because my husband that totaled his work van two years back by slamming into a snowplow is jobless. Ergo, he won't be out driving on the slippery roads. Huh. Did I just find a sliver of a silver lining to unemployment? Perhaps I have. Honestly though, I'll chain him down to the computer if I must. Josh doesn't have a great record with the whole ice on wheels deal. Here's hoping that the weather dudes didn't get the forecast wrong...again. I'm ready to fall into the snow and make an army of snow angels around my house. You can never have too many angels you know.

Backfired

Remember how I said Josh and I were about to make a major decision about quitting the oh so wonderful union? Yes. Well...we decided that the best course of action would probably be to look into what it takes to quit. Four years of schooling would naturally go swirling madly down the drain and we would have to practically start over from scratch. But seeing as the glorious union has still given zero job possibilities on the horizon, we figured that it couldn't be too terrible. So after many phone calls to several unhelpful people, we finally had a meeting set up with the one union dude that could answer the million questions we...no wait...I had. I say 'I' because Josh isn't exactly the kind of guy that enjoys confrontation. As I have a good chunk of experience in that department, it was no problem for me to go in and beat the guy with my book of questions. I gotta tell ya. We were actually kind of excited at the prospect of leaving the union and trying to finally get our life kick-started again. We sat down with the seemingly nice union guy who is notorious for not being happy when one threatens to quit. You see, he was forced to be nice I believe. Why? We brought our kids. Yup. A family outing to daddy's union hall. They got dum-dums so sat like little angels while mama annoyed the nice union man. Within minutes we found out that quitting is no longer an option. If we quit, they will come after us so fast for the money we owe for schooling that we won't know what hit us. I won't say how much that is but let's just say that it's a lot more than I've ever owned at one time. If we don't pay it upfront on demand, they will take 'immediate legal action.' Isn't that nice? My favorite part was when the union guy looked over to me and said, "Do you work?" I said no and he then proceeds to say, "You might think about getting a job." Aww...that's so sweet. Because obviously taking care of two children after birthing them from my loins while cooking three meals a day as I clean, entertain, and try to raise the kids into well-rounded people isn't enough. I wanted to say, "Well, if you guys would do your job and get my husband a job, then perhaps I wouldn't have to take a job serving french-fries to you on your two-hour paid lunch break." Instead, I just glared at him and kissed Abby on the head as she sat on my lap quietly sucking on her lollipop. He even had the gall to compare our situation to his where his wife just got laid off and now they only have one income. Awww. Poor baby! I guess he'll just have to move from his six-bedroom house on easy-street to a four-bedroom one on reality lane. I'll wave to him from poverty-ville as he drives to work every day. Because...you know...he still has a job. Anyhow, now that my rant is complete, I'm sure you've realized by now that our plan to start anew has backfired in our face. *sigh* Back to square one. Could you please pass me the classifieds? Mama might be rejoining the workforce sooner than I wanted.

And the cute kitty photo of the day goes to...

Luke & Leia. Brother and sister and they still cuddle up together like wee little kittens. So sweet.

And yes. I'm aware this is a cop-out blog. But it's still cute.

Anti-Monster Spray

Do you ever do something in hopes of making your life easier and then realize that what you've done actually makes life more complicated? Perhaps that is the situation I have created. Let me start by saying that Alex has a well-developed fear of monsters. I'm quite sure most kids eventually assume there is something big and hairy lurking under their beds at night. Perhaps something scaly and slimy awaits in the deep dark of the closet. I remember believing there was a giant hairy gorilla coming in my window at night and rearranging my My Little Ponies. (Hey. It could happen.) That was when I began to cover my head when I slept. I'm not sure how long it took me to kick the habit, but I will say that the memories are still strong in my mind of just how hot it can get under your covers when you're terrified to breathe too loudly. So for months now, I wake up on average of four times a night to one or both kiddos screaming out for me in their rooms or running into my bedroom as they beg to sleep in the safety of my bed. Unfortunately, this has screwed up my sleeping pattern. Or rather, what's left of my sleeping pattern. Have you ever slept with two tiny feet whacking you in the back all night? Not easy. Not comfortable. Not cool. It's even worse when four tiny feet are doing it. Trust me when I say that if you haven't had kids yet and are getting ready to purchase a bed for the future, buy a king sized one. Queen just doesn't cut it. And for those of you that are worried about Josh's precious sleep, don't be. He gets half the bed and I get 1/8th of it...on a good night. So in a desperate attempt to sleep at night without the constant worry about those blasted monsters, I did some research. I found an idea to spray Anti-Monster Spray on your kid and their bed. I figured, what the heck! Can't hurt...right? Sure. The past few nights, I take a bottle of water and make a spraying sound as I spray down the kids. It's just pretend and nothing comes out of the bottle. But they don't know that. For three nights now I've only gotten up twice instead of four times and zero kids are in my bed in the morning. It's slowly working. It wouldn't be so bad except now I have two kids who are adamant about being sprayed at night. "Mommy! We need monster spray!" Great. Now I have to add yet another thing to their bedtime routine. It wouldn't be so bad, but each night they get more creative about where they need the spray. On the bed, under the bed, on the door, on the door frame, under their arms (because monsters really like the stinky places...their words. not mine.), on their Wiggle dolls, on their pillows, and of course on the blankets. *sigh* What, oh what, have I started? I'll let you know if it ever completely repels the monsters. Until then, I guess I'll be spraying for monsters regularly.

One Sweet Little Habit

I have a little bit of an addiction problem. I. Love. Ice Cream. There. I said it. I love it and I'm not afraid to admit it. Even though I have a kid with a milk allergy, I still sneak a pint into the freezer once a week to feed my little addiction. In my secret double life, I'm actually a cheerleader for the Dairy industry. Shhh. Don't tell. I eat ice cream every Saturday while watching a movie. It begins to call to me on Friday when I stroll through the freezer aisle of Wal-Mart and pretend that I'm actually there to buy vegetables. I go down the ice cream aisle and put on my 'oops! he he he...wrong aisle. I was looking for broccoli' face. Oh sure. I'm certain that when you go to Wally World, the last thing anyone could care about is whether or not that total stranger that walked by them is buying a pint of Ben & Jerry's to feed her face. Once Friday night hits, I start to dream of the sugary, creamy goodness that waits for me in my freezer. Sometimes I even catch myself drooling just a little bit when I pass the fridge. I'll admit it. Sometimes I sneak a bite...or two...or three, just to hold me until Saturday. I've even tried to sneak just one bite and ended up scraping the bottom of the bucket before I even knew what hit me. Yeah. It's that good. Problem: Ice cream, believe it or not, is actually bad for you. *gasp* I know. I'm just as shocked as you are. I'm quite sure that there aren't any special clinics for this little habit, but then again, I could be wrong. I suppose if you look hard enough you can find just about anything. Heck, there's probably even an infomercial playing on TV late at night to help you kick the habit. A once an hour carrot-dispenser or something of the sort. So, try as I might, I can't seem to kick the habit. But lately I've heard my hips whispering to me as I walk throughout the day. They beg me to stop eating my 2000 calorie pint of sugar once a week. Turns out that my hips are running low on storage space and they've warned me that if I'm not careful, they'll have to ask my butt to start storing there. So my new goal is to cut back on the ice cream this year. Though it's part of my special 'me time' routine every weekend, I'll just have to cope with my carrot-stick dispenser. *sigh* Oh Everything-But-The, I shall miss you...more than you know.