Easter, Weaning, & Fevers

I was going with this whole monthly blogging thing, but April was such a crazy month that a single post would take too long to write and way too long to read.

Easter was not as fun as normal this year. First of all, it was the first Easter hunt without my dad. I miss his jovial laughs and smiles while watching the kiddos hunt for eggs. His prayer for Easter dinner will never be able to be replaced. Second of all, it was the beginning of one of the worst bugs/viruses to hit our entire family that I can remember. It was a doozy! It started with Alex. He had a fever during all of Easter, making the fun of egg hunts and candy a moot point. He wasn't into the festivities at all. He didn't even eat his dinner. Which, if you know Alex, means he's pretty darn sick. It quickly spread throughout the house. Abby and Evie got it next and Josh and I followed shortly after. We were all so dang sick! It knocked us on our butts. Even Josh had to take a day off of work. Josh doesn't take off work. He even worked when he had heat exhaustion and almost suffered a heat stroke. Honestly, I didn't think we'd make it to our California vacation (next post). But more on that later. This thing was in our chests. It gave us a fever for several days and ended with lots of snot and coughing. Yuck. No fun. Even I got a fever for two days. And I don't get fevers very often. So glad that's done with.

The kids enjoyed dyeing eggs and waking up to their baskets of goodies. Evie's two eggs suffered some major cracking and eventually ended up eaten before the egg hunt. Alex and Abby actually were more experimental with their eggs this year. It's so fun to see them get more creative as the years go by. And the years are going by so fast.

We went over to mom's house to eat a nice ham dinner and egg hunt. We were supposed to meet my brother and his kids there, but they got the junk too and their kids weren't up for it. They say that the first year after losing someone you love is the hardest. Each time you have to do something for the first time without them is very painful. Here's hoping next Easter is better.

Look how big he is getting!

Can you tell Alex doesn't feel well? I sure can.

Our traditional bunny cake. With our nasty bug, we ended up throwing half of it away. :(

And on other big news. Evie is officially weaned! I was supposed to wait until 18 months per doctor's request, but it got pretty annoying there at the end and I only made it to 17 months. But come on! That's rock star material right there in the breastfeeding world. It just got too annoying. She would grab my eyes and pinch my boobs and pull my hair...even pick my nose! It was all I could do to not scream. So I'm officially done with breastfeeding. I can roll up my boobs and put them away for good! Evie was my longest breast-feeder, but she's been different in many ways. She had RSV at just a month old and the doc said to nurse her through two flu seasons. I did it! And I'm proud of it! Will I miss it? Hmmm...well...that's an interesting question. Yes. In a way I will. It's a phase of my life that I won't get to experience again. The bonding that happens is wonderful and I wouldn't give that up for anything. But when it's time, it's time. I'll miss that sweet look when they drift off to sleep while nursing. I'll miss that cute little patting of her chest when she signed for nursing. I miss the baby phase as I slowly see it fade into the past. That's time for you though. Evie has done well. She won't drink any milk of any kind though, so that's a bit frustrating. She has asked to nurse a couple of times since, but doesn't cry anymore for it. She's growin' up! And I couldn't be more proud.

Abby's 6th Birthday

Well dang. I might as well give up blogging at this current rate. I keep telling myself that when Evie gets older, I'll be able to do this again. I've officially weaned the little turkey from nursing and I thought that it would make her realize she doesn't need to wake up five times a night. Looks like I was wrong. Again. Anyhow...Abby's birthday.

Abby turned six this year and she was so excited to get to have a fun little birthday party with her friends from school, just like Alex got to do. She wanted something a little different than the parties that I've done for the kids in the past. She didn't want a cake. She wanted cookie dough. That's my crazy little Abby! She wanted cookie dough and frosting. I went ahead and made a batch of cupcakes just in case anyone didn't want cookie dough. Turns out that everyone wanted everything. And I was okay with that. I do miss having a picture of her with her cake though. Maybe next year. I will say that it was interesting. With Alex's current allergies, I always have to change ingredients. So there was that. And one little girl had an egg allergy so all things were egg-free. And Alex's best bud has diabetes, so I tried to cut down on the sugar load by making the punch sugar-free. Whew! But it's all good. :-)

The funny thing was, that I let her invite about ten kids thinking that only a few would show up. That's what happened with both parties that Alex has had. All but one girl showed up. That, my friends, was a ton of little girls in my backyard. We were blessed with a beautiful day so the party was outside. Instead of gift bags, I decided to set up a beauty parlor for all the kids (boys as well...Alex had a couple of friends there too for good measure). They got to paint their nails, get hair clips, sticker earrings and a few other things. They had a blast! I was really happy to beautify all those little cuties. Of course the boys got tattoos and some other random things that weren't sparkly. We played musical chairs to the Frozen soundtrack and everyone had a great time. I'm glad that the next party isn't going to be until Evie is in Kindergarten. Whew!

As for miss Abby, she has turned into quite the little social butterfly. She has a couple of pretty close friends and her BFFs are pretty sweet kids. I'm glad to see her come out of her shell as she gets older. She still clams up from time to time, but it's getting to be few and far between. She is doing wonderful in school and I couldn't be more proud of her. What did she want for her birthday? A horse. Did she get it? Nope. But someday I hope to fulfill that dream for her. Sooner than later I hope. Happy Birthday sweet baby girl! We are so proud of the little lady you are becoming!

The minion cupcakes I made for Abby's school birthday celebration.

The cookie dough distribution. Mmm...it was tasty.

The beauty station.

She was a happy kid that day. She even got to see her BFF from pre-k, Natalie.

Turns out that Evie was a hit with all the girls. They carried her around a lot.

Miss big-pants on the swing-set.

Musical chairs was a hit. I'll have to keep that in mind for the next party.

March 2014

Wow. March has been a doozy of a month. Strike that. It's been a doozy of a year. But that's an entirely different thing all together. I seriously need to reconsider my camera use frequency. I was going through my pictures and realized I have mostly just a random series of pictures of Evie doing nothing but smiling for the camera. In less than a month, we will be heading to California to my youngest brother's wedding. I'd better start utilizing my camera better. It's not every day that you get to go on a five day vacation to California with your family. And I've got two very excited kids who are rip-roarin' ready to see the Redwood Forest and the ocean. I'm thinking Mr. Camera is going to be my best friend.

So Abby and Evie are becoming fast friends. When Abby is gone at school, Evie gets very bored without her. Abby gives her a hug and kiss when she says bye for school and if she forgets, Evie is quick to scream her name until she remembers. IF we ever get a new house with at least two rooms for the kids, then I think the sisters will do just fine being roomies.

Spring has sprung...theoretically. It's officially spring according to the calendar. But the fact that we need coats to walk to school makes me feel otherwise. So getting the kids outside to play hasn't exactly been the norm. The biggest thing they seem to do on the colder weekends is play their Kindles. I must admit that I don't really like the digital age. I had the Atari originally when I was a kid. So I get it. Video games are fun. But I sometimes worry that our kids will lose the ability to imagine because of this digital age. See how they bond with dad on cold days? Ugh.

I don't play the Kindles. Heck. I don't play much these days. So I use my imagination. On my cat. I turned him from a cat...into a cat with purply ears. Imagination. Yep.

One of the new things that has been added to my days this past month is exercise. I broke my foot a year and a half ago. I went to the doc for an xray to see if it had healed due to its consistent pain when I exercise...or walk. Doc said yes. But the pain said no. Turns out that the podiatrist says it is still broken. Good news! I can exercise on it all I want. Yay! Bad news...it will never fully heal. Boo. So I'm supposed to buy $400 custom made inserts so I can take the pressure off my teeny tiny remaining fracture. Yeah. Right. So I'm doing sit-ups, push-ups, arm weights and whatever random things I can do to get fit. No results as of one month later, but I suppose I'll keep trucking. On the fun side, Evie thinks it is super fun to join me. Especially during sit-ups. 

My kids are getting so big! Taking "Selfies" with my kids is becoming increasingly difficult. Mostly because they don't want to smile. They'd rather be goof balls. But that's okay too.

Taking individual pictures of them isn't as easy as it used to be either. Smile for the camera translates to "be a dork". Gotta love it!

So on to the worst part of the month. Yeah. It's bad. About a year ago, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. She beat it. Fast forward to a month ago. She called to tell us that the cancer showed its ugly face again. Fast forward again to a week or so ago. They called to tell us that she was in the hospital with blood clots in her leg. The docs did everything they could, but no matter the treatment, the blood kept clotting. After several rounds of procedures, with hope for success waning, she decided enough was enough. They removed all meds and now she's in God's hands. I hate writing this, but Cindy has been given a terminal diagnosis. We are just praying for peace and strength through this difficult time. We've been going down to visit on the weekends until God heals her or takes her home. The kids are having a hard time understanding what is happening right now. I've explained cancer and blood clots and told them that Grandma probably won't be here much longer, but after visiting her in the hospital, they just can't seem to grasp it. She seems normal to them. I pray for their peace and understanding. My kids are still so raw from losing my dad (Grandpa) just six months ago. Like I said. Rough year. We love you Grandma! I hope you beat the odds. We all do, because you are wonderful and life wouldn't be the same without you. :-)

Alex with Grandma.

 

 

Abby with Grandma

February 2014

My little group of crazies.

Oh look at that. It must be time for my monthly blog posting. Seeing as how the moment I sit down in the evenings to get a little time to myself, my smallest child wakes up screaming mad, I don't get much time to write. Or eat. Or breathe. Or Pee. In all seriousness, this child is going to give me gray hair. I've completely forgotten what personal time feels like. I'm sure it was lovely though. So, seeing as how these posts are so few and far between at the moment, I suppose I'd best be cramming in as much as I can.

Ahead of her time

Evie has made it perfectly clear that she will not conform to the normal early childhood schedule. Here's a little story. I've been trying to get her to fall asleep on  her own in her crib. It became apparent to me about two months ago, that she wasn't going down without a fight. The first time she zonked in her crib took two hours. The second time, I gave up at two hours and rocked her to sleep. The third time, she latched her little monkey toes around the bars of the crib and began shimmying her way to the top. That's about the time I realized that leaving her alone in the crib wasn't particularly safe. A couple of weeks ago, I was putting her to bed. I decided to run (literally, run) out to grab something off of the couch. In that five seconds, she had shimmied to the top of the crib and proceeded to fall head over heals. Thank God I was there to catch her. Had I been two seconds later, she'd be in traction and I'd be the worst mom ever. So guess who is in a toddler bed at 15 whopping months of age? *sigh* That's miss Evie. Ahead of her time.

Aww. In her big girl bed. How did this happen?

Readers
 
Alex began reading his first books by himself around this time last year in Kindergarten. I was sure it was a fluke among my children. Abby was never really  motivated to learn like Alex. Or so I thought. Apparently, I was wrong. She is officially a reader. She has been reading easy-reader books for the past few weeks (with help with the big words). I can't believe I have two readers. What happened to my two sweet kids who loved to curl up on the couch and have stories read to them? Now they are the ones reading to me. As for Alex's reading skills? He's reading so well that I've actually had to monitor his reading choices. Let's just say that he came across a science book we have (for middle-grade kids) and discovered the anatomy section. At dinner, he proceeded to explain to me several aspects of the...ahem...male and female reproductive system. I'll leave it at that. Pretty proud of them both though.

Ready for mom to read a story to them all. Or three or four.

Elmo

Evie's love of that ridiculous red puppet has gone full swing. And there's no turning back. She now asks for Elmo consistently throughout the day. If it weren't so educational, I'd feel bad letting her watch it. Honestly, it gives me time to do dishes and fix dinner when needed. And funny enough, the other two kids are happy to watch it. Of course, if you ask Alex, he will deny all accusations.

Here's Evie chewing on her germ infested shoes while watching Elmo.

Book News

I'm officially a published author! Well...self-published. Still counts though, right? I've sold 16 copies for the Kindle (e-readers) and 5 copies of my paperback. I love the way it turned out and I'm fairly geared up to start working on the sequel. Of course, this is all pending Evie's willingness to leave me alone in the evenings. So, pretty much, I'll never get it written at this point in my life.

You can buy it here, if you feel like you want to give it a try. Or if you just want to see my name in bright shining lights...er...on Amazon's website, then you can just click the link to see how snazzy the book turned out. Kinda proud of it, actually.

The Gateway to Imagia: The Tale of Sam Little

Spring Plans

It looks like we might be giving it the old college try again with our house. We are considering putting our shoebox house up for sale in the spring. If spring ever comes, I suppose. It has been the longest winter ever. I know it has a lot to do with all the crap that has happened in the last five months, but I will be one thankful lady when I get to pack away those coats for the long haul. My kids have serious cabin fever. As do I. But as for whether or not our house will ever sell is the main thing I've been thinking about. Honestly, I don't think anyone wants to inhabit this blackhole of disease and mold lovely domicile. They say a sucker is born every minute. One of them has to meander in our direction, right?

Detox

The past two weeks have found us with three...count them, three...stomach bugs. The doc says that the average household sees one to two stomach flu/bugs per year. We had three in two weeks. Either we really do live in the blackhole of disease, or something is rotten in Denmark. I've detoxed this house more times that I can count. I've gone through three things of laundry detergent in two weeks! Who does that? I mean, come on! I've been up to my elbows in vomit far too much and I'd like to get a nice break. It's been hell. I'm hoping we are officially on the mend. I managed to escape the first two rounds,  but the third one hit me with a vengeance. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say that I haven't had a night like that in ages. I prefer not to hit repeat on that.

I suppose my February posting is complete with that lovely little note of happiness. Here's hoping April will be a fresh start to some good things. Fingers crossed. Here are some pics. Ya know...randomness at it's finest.

Evie in the snow. She was less than thrilled after the first five minutes.

This girl loves the "babies". She calls cats babies.

Evie the ragdoll. They carry her around like this all the time. And she loves it.

That rocking horse has gotten so much use. Abby still loves it to pieces.

She loves to draw and color. It's strange though. She's really good at holding writing utensils. Almost too good for her own good, really.

Sleep Deprivation

If I'd have known over seven years ago that I would never again sleep through a night, I would have taken my last night of sleep and made it last an entire week. Most new parents walk around like zombies for a few months as they adjust their lives around that wee little babe they've brought home. Then after a few months, they begin to train that little babe to sleep in their crib. After the first year, they generally have this perfect little bedtime routine with this perfect little child who sleeps a perfectly undisturbed night away awaking to perfectly rested parents in the morning. Everyone goes skipping to the breakfast table, refreshed and revitalized.

Then there's me.

I started out with these expectations. Oh yes. Then I had my first child in the dead of winter with a bedroom that, despite central heat, remained ten degrees cooler than the rest of the house. That shivering little boy would be snuggled with me almost nightly just to keep him warm. Three kids later, I'm a co-sleeper. What the heck?? I don't know how it happened. It just did. One night a little over a year ago, I was so tired from staying up with very sick kids that I just gave up and let Evie sleep with me. Fast forward one year. Well...I'm tired. That's about where I am. I've tried "cry it out". Didn't work. I've tried bedtime routines. Didn't work. I've tried just about every trick and still can't get that kid to sleep through the night. Oh, don't go and think that it must be just Evie. Because it's not. Alex and Abby frequently visit my room/bed on a nightly basis. Whether it's nightmares or something as simple as just wanting to "be with mom", I can't seem to keep these kids out of my room at night.

Here's the funny thing about it. Josh, God love him, is a snorer. Not just the little cute snores that escape on occasion. The full-on, wake the dead, shake the windows, oh-my-gosh-I'm-going-to-smother-him-with-a-pillow kind or snorer. Yes. It's that loud. And you know what? Evie sleeps right through it like she's listening to an "Ocean Waves at Sunset" white noise CD. When I go to bed, I become a ninja. I sneak into the bed, avoiding every creaky board and random toy on the floor. I can avoid any and every sound that the bed can make. Heck, I can even brush my teeth and go pee in perfect silence. But the second my head hits that pillow - boom! Awake! So this leads me to believe one thing. They smell fear. Not only do they smell fear, but they are drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Why fear? Because I'm a night owl at heart. I enjoy my after hours break (if you want to call it a break). As the clock draws near to that dreaded moment when I know I must go to bed, I become afraid. Afraid that the slightest movement or sound will wake my little raptors up. My head hits that pillow and within moments, one to three children are sneaking into bed or crying out for me.

I. Am. Exhausted.

So, either I'm a big ol' whopping failure at this whole parenting thing, or my children are perfectly happy with the low end of the "normal hours of sleep" chart. I'm guessing the latter. Soon, I will be purchasing a bunk bed for Alex and Abby and moving Evie into her big girl bed. She's decided that her crib is better left alone and will climb to the top, nearly falling over the side. She doesn't have the dexterity to throw one leg over and climb out gracefully just yet. Yay for me.

Oh listen. There's Evie now. It's 10:30 and she's screaming in her crib for the third time since I put her to bed.

Man, I'm tired.

And this is why. Yep. That's my bed. And Left to Right: Abby, Alex, Evie, our fatso cat Logan.

The Great Winter of 2014

Holy buckets! That was a doozy! We just experienced what I will forever refer to as The Great Winter of 2014. The weather duded predicted that we were going to have some of the coldest temperatures in the past decade. (I also heard that it was the coldest in 30 years, but I don't know what was right.) When I heard that forecast, I thought to myself, "Huh. I sure hope our heater doesn't break down. Cuz...ya know...that would suck." You see, our heater has been making some pretty awful sounds for the last couple of months and I was beginning to get concerned of its ultimate demise. Turns out that my fears were justified. Last Thursday, our heater went kaput. We woke up in the morning to an untoasty 65 degrees in the house. I was not happy.

Josh, having a Journeyman's license in HVAC (heating and air), but zero tools for the trade, was able to diagnose the problem. However, he could not fix it. Night one without heat was chilly. Night two got worse. Then the "winter vortex" that swept the country hit us. We had a new heating and air unit scheduled to be installed for Saturday before all of the bad stuff was supposed to hit us. It got backordered and we couldn't get it installed until Monday. Great.

We ended up with five space heaters and desperately tried to bump the temp of the house up high enough that it wouldn't fall into arctic conditions overnight. When the temps started to drop, it got rough. The core of the house got colder upon each passing hour and my toes were little frozen sausages nonstop. Geez, my core was getting colder too. Sunday night (the worst of the weather) hit us pretty hard. The heaters couldn't keep up and our tiny 954 sqft house was rejecting having so many amps being pulled. Breakers were tripping right and left (scary) and I had to go around unplugging everything nonessential. We were sleeping with the lights on in hopes that the light bulbs would give off some extra heat. I'm happy to say that the temp on the thermostat never got below 63 degrees. Now, please keep in mind that the thermostat was five feet up on an inner wall. The temp in our room was in the 50's and the floor temp was barely that. Guess it's true. Heat rises.

We woke up Monday to another surprise. Even though we left the faucet in the kitchen trickling, our hot water pipe in there froze. Yay for us. I tried to heat it up with a heater all day to no avail. Josh, that lucky guy, got to take a short trek under the house crawl space with my hair dryer to unfreeze the line and hope that he wouldn't find a break in the pipe from expansion. He was successful and we had water within ten minutes of Mr. Hairdryer's handiness. Luckily, there was no break either. Phew!

I'm happy to say now, that the new heater is installed and pumping out heat for our personal enjoyment. I was very close to getting a sleeping bag out and sleeping on one of the vents just like I did when I was a kid and my mom and dad yelled at us for "covering the vents." I still feel like I'm cold at the core from all that chilliness. But boy howdy! I am sure glad those days are behind us. The kids were cold. I was cold. Heck! Even the cats were cold! They went into some rare kitty hibernation state. There were five curled up fluff balls around our house that never moved except twice a day at meal times. It was one heck of a five day stretch without heat. I would have loved to have had a fireplace right about then. How people lived without central heat back in the day, is beyond me. Thank God for central heat.

Evie was helping daddy unfreeze the pipes. 

 

Pink Elephant

Let's talk about the pink elephant in the room, shall we? Because that pesky pink elephant is the true cause of the the horrifically obvious halt to my blogging. I don't suppose I need to really address this to the few people that might still faithfully check my blog in hopes of seeing something new and exciting. But truth be told, this blog isn't for them as much as it is for me and my kids in the future. I may have a few Suzy Homemaker qualities from time to time, but let's face the facts. 1. I don't scrapbook. I'm sure it would be fun, but seriously? If you have the time to scrapbook, then you must have older, more self-entertained/self-sufficient children than I. 2. I don't keep up with baby books. I have three of them. Alex's is filled with the essentials. Abby's is less so. Evie? Well...Evie is just lucky I wrote her name on it. 3. I don't have photo albums. You remember those, right? Those pretty three-ring books filled to the brim with family vacation photos. They were popular back when the word "digital" referred to a new-fangled fancy alarm clock from the store in the mall. Digital cameras are great, but I don't have a million dollars to print the bazillion photos that they store. So basically, this blog is meant to be my scrapbook/photo album/baby book.

So. Pink elephant. My dad passed away. It's been three months and, believe you me, it's been horrible. The past three months have been riddled with painful moments that stab at my heart and make it start to bleed all over again. These holidays have been hell. We had smiles. Sure. But for me, many of those smiles were forced. Losing a loved one sucks. It sucks major giant bags of dog poo. And what makes it worse is dealing with the loss through the eyes of those around you on top of the loss you already feel yourself. My worst pain comes when I deal with the pain of my mom and my children. But I've been strong for them. Being ever so careful to never shed a tear in front of them for fear of making their pain worse. I know, I know. Crying is good for them to see. But honestly, they saw enough in the first month. But don't you worry your pretty little heads about it. I find my time to cry. Whether it's driving to the store alone or silently sobbing into the dark while holding Evie's hand as she falls asleep in her crib, I do let it out. But I plaster on that smile and keep on trucking. I know that the pain will be managed one day and that I won't feel like shards of salty glass are slowly shoving their way into my wounded heart. But until then, I'm just taking one step at a time.

So why has the pink elephant stopped me from blogging? Simple. When I sit down to tap away on the keyboard and try to weave a fun, witty, happy little post, every picture or story somehow loops back around to missing my dad. As I sit there and try to type about happy rainbows and unicorns and teddy bears and la la la...

...I fail.

A heavy sigh and a tear or two later, I simply throw in the towel and resort to doing something mindless. Like playing Candy Crush or watching random tv shows. I fear too much that what I write will be sad and mopey and all around depressing. But here's the deal: That's where I am right now. This blog is a scrapbook of our lives and my Dad was a huge part of that. I can't even turn around in my own home without seeing something that reminds me of him. Presents he's given my kids. Things he fixed to help me out. Places he sat. Heck, even my cats remind me of him. Everything is there to remind me of my loss. Remind me of what I'll never have again. Remind me of what my children long for and will never receive again. Our arms and hearts ache for my dad...for Grandpa. So basically, I've had to face the fact that sometimes the unicorns and rainbows need to go jump off a tall bridge and back off for a minute so I can soak in my reality.

So many people just look at your grief three months later and just scratch their heads. To them I say: Scratch away! If you haven't dealt with this, good for you. But sorry. You just won't understand. And that's okay. I discovered many things after losing Dad, but four of them stand out the most. 1. I never knew how much like him I was until it was too late to tell him. That hurts. But it is also awesome. 2. I never knew how much I could miss him and how much I loved him until he was gone. That hurts more. 3. No one defined World's Best Grandpa like my Dad. He was Alex's buddy and Abby's first "I love you". And that has made me realize that dealing with my children's grief is far and away one of the most horrible things I've had to deal with. But what a legacy he was and will always be to them! That hurts too.  And finally, 4. Dad was awesome. He was crazy at times and goofier than Goofy himself and could drive you batty with the things he said or did. But I will miss him and his batty, goofy, crazy way of living. Because without those traits? He wouldn't have been Dad. So I've learned to love those you have for who they are. Tell them, show them, hug them...love them.

My mom has made a new year's resolution to try hard to survive better without Dad - without her soul mate. She is off to a strong start by starting to cook her own meals again. If you knew my mom, you'd know the significance of that. I figure, if she can make an effort, then so shall I. My resolution/goal is to start writing again. Not just on here, but also on the sequel to my book. But for now, my fingers are frozen as we have no heater on the coldest day in over a decade. So I shall leave you with the hope that, in essence, I am back. The pink elephant has been exposed in all his awkward nakedness and I no longer need to dance around him with a blind eye. Some days, my sadness will show. And you know what?

I'm okay with that.

Have a seat Mr. Pink Elephant. You're welcome here anytime.