Vacation...er....Kind of

Josh finally has gotten the honor of getting ten days of vacation at his job. He started out with three and then moved up to five, finally getting ten. Yay! We had a grand plan of going somewhere exotic this summer and using five of his days. You know, like...within a two hour driving limit. Maybe four? Well, the joys of my surgeries this year made it so that he had to use two of his ten days and so we were left with three days this summer if he still wanted his annual week off during Christmas break. So, instead of going somewhere that required lots of driving, we opted to go to several local places and enjoy some family time. Our first stop was the local zoo. We try to go every year as a family anyways, so this was good timing. The kids always enjoy going, no matter how many times we go. We got my mom (Grandma) to go with us and I think she had a great time too. The kids love having her along for the ride no matter where we are going. And Evie is the age where going places is actually fun. No diapers! Woo-hoo!

If I really looked, I could find a picture like this on this horse every single year. Wouldn't that be a hoot to see?

I had to add this picture because it freaked me out.

 

Our second stop was going to an arcade/mini golf/"amusement" park. It's not a lot of super big rides, but they have a small coaster and lots of rides that kids (and adults) enjoy. And the beauty of it was that the place was deserted when we got there. We pretty much had the entire place to ourselves and rode everything several times. Then it was inside to the arcades. We got so many tickets and the kids exchanged them for lots of goodies. It was a pretty awesome time. Even Josh and I got into this strange game where you knock evil clowns down to get lots of tickets. Our throwing arms were sore for a week!

I'm not a huge selfie fan. But it's a great way to get me in the pictures...as it is very rare.

The next day we went to go to the movies and out to eat at Wendy's. Because with Alex's allergies, we only really have two safe options for eating out. We went to see Secret Life of Pets. Josh slept through half of it, but the kids really enjoyed it. Regardless of the movie quality, it was a great time. Our last thing was to go swimming at our local pool. It was the last weekend it was open and the kids had free passes. So...bonus!

  

I love my son. But ugh...I do get tired of Wendy's and McDonald's.

Of course, our vacation ended on a bad note with the passing of our beloved Penny. (insert massive amounts of sad faces and teardrops here.) So unfortunately, it wasn't the vacation of our dreams. But the time we spent together was wonderful and I am very glad that we did all that we did. I also spent the vacation time taking care of Mandy's many, many beasties. It's always nice going over and feeling like I'm "country" again. Even if it's just for a little while. Next year, we are seriously planning to go somewhere that requires overnight stays. I'm getting excited already!

Feeding the beasties. I really wish goats were in my future.

First Day of School 2016

Well, this wasn't planned. The preschool that Alex and Abby went to ended up shutting down because the teacher moved to another state. Initially, I decided to send Evie to three-year old Pre-K just so she would be able to get some socialization with kids her age. Alex and Abby had each other growing up and we went to Mandy's house on play dates at least twice a week. Evie has just little ol' me all day long when the kids go to school. I'm great and all, but I'm not a three-year old. When I found out that Miss Cindy closed the school, I just settled myself back into having her at home for at least another year until I found a Pre-K class here at their school. One more year with my baby at home all the time. I was okay with that.

Then I got a phone call last Friday. Abby's teacher wanted to see if I would be willing to enroll Evie as a role model for the three-year old Pre-K class where Abby and Alex go to school. They really needed another girl in the class. I was thrown for a loop. But I said we'd go and meet the teacher, take a look at the classroom, and see what Evie thought. Guess what? She was all too happy to go. I enrolled her two days before school started. *sniff* I wasn't ready for that!

So Wednesday was the first day for Abby and Alex and Evie's first day was today. I woke up this morning and did something that I wasn't ready for: I packed three backpacks. Three! Nope. Not ready at all. Abby is in 3rd grade and has the same teacher as last year because she moved up a grade and wanted to have Abby in her class again. Abby was super excited about this as she did the same thing for Kindergarten and 1st grade with Mrs. Dunagan. Alex is in 4th grade and already thinks his teacher is pretty cool. That always makes me happy to hear. Evie already loves her teacher and is more than excited to go back next Monday. She will go to school three hours a day, Monday through Thursday. It feels like a long time to me, but it's only 12 hours a week. (I have to keep telling myself that this is okay. For me...not her.)

As for me? I am supposed to call this my "break" that is "well deserved". It doesn't feel that way. At least not yet. I feel lazy and like I've given up my official "Stay at home mom" title. Supposedly, I'll get my book written faster. But today I cleaned like the Pope was visiting. I thought there would be some form of nerves from Evie, but she didn't even blink. I chalk it up to her spending the last three years going to the school all the time with me as a room mom and all the reasons in between. She knows several of the teachers and I think it just makes her comfortable. I guess I'm in for some adjusting. I hope this transition goes smoother than it is in my head. Mama's struggling.

Alex 4th grade

Abby 3rd grade

Evie Pre-K (3 years old)

Evie with her teacher and happy as a lark.

*sniff, sniff*

Penny

May 22nd 2006, four tiny kittens were born in my parents' barn to a very sick mama kitty. This mama kitty had had several litters of kittens. None of them survived much past the first year. Coyotes, cars, and illness always took their lives before they could even get started. Mama kitty was thin. She was struggling with her own life, but managed to care for her new litter of wee ones to the best of her ability. She was a good mama.

Right around this time, Josh and I moved in with my folks until we could find a place to buy of our own. Until then, I was back home and enjoying the country life while pregnant with Alex. I never thought that Mama kitty's and my own life would be intertwined.

One day, I came home from work in the pouring rain. There in the middle of the driveway was a tiny, helpless black kitten, struggling to move. When I reached it, I knew it was hopeless. It was dying. Mama kitty had been trying to move them and this little one got left behind. At just a few weeks old, I did all I could to save it, but it wasn't meant to be. I searched the barn and found the other three tabby kittens. They were covered in fleas, eyes matted closed, and snot pouring from their noses. Mama kitty was nursing them, but she wasn't moving much. She looked hopeless. I had a moment with her and struggled with what to do. She was so thin and looked as though she was pouring her very last bit of life into those three sick kittens who had almost no hope of living. I made a rash choice. I took them inside and bottle fed them in hopes to give them something extra while their mama struggled. The next day, Mama kitty died.

Three tiny, sickly kittens now were going to die if I didn't intervene. Being pregnant, my hormones were raging lunatics and I decided to do all in my power to save the orphaned kittens. And so began a journey that changed us forever.

Those three little kittens had spunk. They may have been deathly ill, but they did their best to not show it. I took them to the vet and she helped me as many ways as she could to get them better. I bathed them, the water dark brown from flea dirt and blood. I cleaned their eyes, wiped their bottoms like a mama cat so they could potty, and gave them medicine and bottles of milk every two hours. They started to get better, but it was a long, hard road and many months of medicine. We named them Logan, Jasmine and Penny. They stole our hearts. My mom told me to stick them back out in the barn where they belong because Josh and I already had two cats that were a year old - Luke and Leia. She couldn't fathom us having five cats inside. Boy, was she ever wrong.

Penny was the runt of the litter. She struggled the hardest to get better and her left eye never did improve. One day, as I was gently cleaning it, her eye popped right out and flew across the room. Needless to say, I was devastated. I scooped the eye up and took her to the vet. At barely a month old, she went in for surgery to have her eye socket cleaned out and sewed shut. It was risky for her age, but she made it. It took ages to heal and finally one day, she was better. She used to curl up on our chest and purr so loud it felt unreal. Josh and I were hooked. They were ours forever. They were family.

The vet told us that in all rights, those kittens shouldn't have survived. But I truly believe that God sent them to us, just like he sends so many pets our way to love. And those pets love us back. We were warned that they might not live as long as other cats because of such a rocky start to life and poor history with their mama. Logan has diabetes, Jasmine has some sort of horrible bowel disorder, and Penny...well...she never had any other problems. Ten years later, we thought they'd live forever.

Four months ago, Penny began to vomit blood. It was frightening and seeing as how she never vomited, I was scared. I rushed her in and they did a blood panel only to find out that she was hyperthyroid. The vet said it was very common in old cats. Old? She's old?! That came as a shock to me. When did our babies get old? Hyperthyroidism can be controlled with pills but it only extends their life. It could be months. It could be years. Every cat responds differently. I told the vet that her sister Jasmine has vomited every day for years and lost tons of weight. Turns out she had it too.

It was rocky. The meds made her sick to her stomach and we finally (via a friend who's a vet) learned to giver her Pepcid before her meds. It worked! She was back to normal. But then...that's when it started to go bad. She got sick. She had a high fever and was lethargic. A shot of steroids, B12, and a round of antibiotics later, and she was right as rain. Two weeks later she got the same thing. Back to the vet and another drug cocktail later and she was great again. It went on like this four times. Each time, it seemed to be little less serious and I was hopeful - until two weeks ago. She got sick so we started her on meds. This time, it wasn't getting better like before. I took her to the vet yet again and she said that she needed some extra steroids to kickstart her system. She ate well for one day and then the next it was a struggle. This past Saturday, I noticed that she was looking frail. She was trying to eat, but the food kept falling out of her mouth. She acted normal - always meowing and purring. She went to bed with Abby, just like every night, because she chose Abby as her special own human. That night, I said good night to her and she meowed and purred. Sunday morning, Josh woke me up and said that he Penny wasn't moving and that the other cats were hissing at her.

Oh please, God. Not now. That's all I could think.

I rushed her into the emergency vet, a place I'd never been before. Before I left, I woke the kids and through never ending streams of tears, told them that I didn't think Penny was going to make it this time. I watched Abby break into a million pieces that morning. We took pictures, we loved on her, we told her we loved her and we pet her, but she was in so much pain that she couldn't lift her body off the floor.

When the vet came out they rushed her back to get her on oxygen and start a port in her leg for meds. She was critical with very little hope. They told me that they could treat her aggressively and try, but it would cost thousands of dollars and she was so critical that it would probably not work, only causing her to suffer longer. A part of me died when I signed the paper to put her to sleep. I went into the room and they brought her to me. In just the fifteen minutes since we'd arrived, she had gotten worse. She was crying out through painful breaths and couldn't lift her head. I held her paws and kissed her head - rubbing that empty missing eye socket like she always loved. They gave her sedation, so she would fall asleep first, no longer hurting. Then one more syringe and she was gone in seconds.

We buried her as a family at my mom's house. The kids pet her one last time. One last kiss. One last moment. One last goodbye. We wrapped her in a Christmas blanket and prayed over the grave. There wasn't a dry eye there. She was, and always will be, our sweet Penny. Never forgotten - always loved.

Some people don't believe that pets go to heaven when they die. When I became saved 15 years ago, there was a brief moment when I wondered as well. But in a blink of an eye, I knew they were wrong. Some say that animals don't have souls. I don't believe that either. Every single time one of my amazing animals has left this world, they leave me behind a changed person. The pain is almost unbearable when you say goodbye. And I've done it so often that it's hard to believe I'm not used to it.

I know that God takes them home. Maybe they don't have a soul exactly like we do. But that's only because as we care for them and love them, they take a small piece of our own souls for their own. And when they die, we are forever changed. We wonder why it hurts our hearts so badly when they leave. How could it not hurt? They take a piece of our souls with them when they go. And they sit there in Heaven with God, waiting. When we die, and join them, our souls will be whole again. They are a part of us, just as we are a part of them. When they die, we don't just feel broken. We are broken. That's what it is to love them.

And Penny...sweet Penny...she didn't just take a piece of my soul. She took a piece of Abby's, Alex's, Evie's, and Josh's. We loved her and always will. We are broken without her. But she is and always will be what God intended - a perfect blessing.

Rest in peace sweet Penny. We'll love you always. Until we meet again.

Baby Penny - just after her eye surgery.

Penny this year on Abby's bed where she loved the most.

Cooking Connoisseurs

I developed an interest in cooking at an early age. Truth be told, I didn't have much of a choice the older I got. When Dad had his accident, Mom had to go back to work. That left me being the oldest and most experienced cook in the house. Dad could cook hot dogs and the random thing, but when mom worked late, it was me who had to make sure dinner was served and everyone was fed. I didn't mind. I took to the role naturally. Mom still feels like she ruined my childhood by relying on me so much, but I don't think that at all. It made me a very capable adult very quickly.

So, in short, there are skills that I want to make sure my kids grow up with and cooking is one of them. I started out doing baking (cookies, cakes, pies, etc.) for 4-H and that expanded pretty fast. But it's a skill that I believe all people need. Boiling and egg may seem simple, but you'd be surprised how many people have to google it. Imagine my happiness when Abby checked out a cookbook from the library and started bookmarking all the recipes she wants to try to make on her own. She said she wanted to learn how to cook. She made her first thing (with oven help from me, of course) last week and wanted to go with something called Caramel Shortbread. It called for sweetened condensed milk and that isn't safe for Alex so we had to improvise with making a substitute out of coconut. It probably didn't taste much like what the recipe was, but it was delicious! And she was so proud of herself! Bonus, you know?

So as we were about to take a bite of the dessert, I couldn't find Alex. He was hiding in his room moping. After a little mom-digging, I found out that he was sad that he didn't get to cook too. I told him the next dessert was all his. Next day (too soon for more sweets, but still), he chose to make Lemon Bars (his favorite) and he did it all on his own (minus the oven of course). He was so proud as well! It was great to see them get their hands "dirty" with flour and egg. Was it messy? Oh yes. Oh, very much yes. In fact, we had to dig out eggshell several time from batter. Was there flour in their hair? Yep. But you can't replace that feeling of doing something yourself. They already make their own breakfasts and lunches, so this is just a natural next step. The only problem? They want to bake every day. This does not help my weight loss goals. I suppose if my sacrifice is to gain a couple of pounds so they can learn, then it's worth it. Why don't I just not eat it? Um, not a chance. If I declined their offered desserts, they'd be devastated. Not worth it. Good job, my little cooks! I'm so proud and can't wait to see what they will whip up next!

Grandma's Birthday

I feel like I write the beginning to this post often. I was going to say that we had some uncommon visitors, but it turns out that they visit way more often than just "uncommon". Jeremy brought his whole family down for a wedding and was there the day of my mom's birthday. Every year, we celebrate Grandma's birthday by making her dinner and a cake. It's always been just a low-key thing, but I woke up to a phone call from Jeremy. He wanted to decorate mom's house with balloons and a banner decorated by the grand kids. It was a great idea, especially as it was a surprise for her. She, like me, doesn't really care much for her birthday being celebrated. But we have and always will celebrate Grandma and Grandpa (yes, even though he's gone). They are so important to us and always will be.

The kiddos had a great time decorating and playing together. Mom never can choose what she wants to have for dinner, so I generally choose for her. (Grrr...) I went with good ol' fashioned fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. It was delicious and I think Jeremy ate too much because he opted out of the cake. What was strange, was that in all of this, it completely slipped my mind to invite Jake and his family. I'm just so used to doing this every year with no one but us, that I forgot. So we invited them over that evening for cake and ice cream. Fun was had by all and I think that mom was happy. It's so hard, some days, to know if she is happy. I hope so, though. I gave her a gift card to Dillon's and Jeremy decided to take her to the local humane society and get her a dog. She's been wanting one for awhile now to keep Milo company. She's a heeler mix named Margie. Super sweet girl! Happy Birthday Grandma! You're the best!

Yes...the cake was tasty!

All the grandkids. :)

Miss Margie. What an active girl!

Father's Day 2016

Each year, the kids want to do something for Josh for Father's Day. Seeing as how tis the season for having children with me when I'm shopping every week, it's easy to let them pick something out for him when we go. They got a card (Darth Vader, of course), drew in them, and wrote nice little messages. Evie even drew two of the little people she can draw (think circles with four stick appendages) and said they were her and Daddy. It was cute and, for once, Josh actually liked the card and decided he's keeping it. Normally we avoid cards because he doesn't care for them and chucks them the next day. Not worth the money. They each picked a little something to give him and I think he enjoyed them. Evie spent the entire day wishing him a happy father's day and even made him a special bracelet from beads. It was cute.

It's funny, when I think about the difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day. For some reason, it always seems to be a bigger deal for the kids when it comes to dad. Yes. This makes me jealous. But I'm glad that they love Josh so much. It's great to see them get excited about a day to celebrate him. I woke before Josh and made him a batch of cinnamon rolls (his favorite) and made him homemade pizza (also one of his favorites). It was a good day for him.

Father's day for me, on the other hand, is bittersweet. I am blessed to have a great husband who works hard to make a life for us. He loves his kids and they love him back. But for me, a day where you celebrate your dad, it's tough. The last few Father's Days I've struggled. I usually begin the day with a flood of memories and end the day going for a long walk by myself to just compute all my feelings with no one around. This year, for some reason, was harder than last year. I kept seeing cards or gifts that I would have given my dad. I went for an extra long walk tonight. Happy Father's Day, dad. Wish you were here to hear that.

They Won!

Alex is in his fourth year of baseball. First year was T-ball, second and third was coach pitch and t6his year began the very first time of competitive baseball. This means that the kids do it all. Pitching, catching, and playing against other city teams. It's been a crazy time. Practice was long and hard and then we got smacked by spring rain troubles. It was bad. We got rained out of the first five games. And then the crazy began. We went from lazy summer to three games a week! Each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we've had games at 6:00 in the evening. The games last one and a half hours or five innings (which ever comes first). It's been hot and sweaty evenings with extremely late dinners. It's been...well...an experience. They boys are all age 9 and 10. Truth be told, they aren't the best team.

Okay, that sounded unmotherly of me. But Alex knows that they aren't top of the line. Actually, up until this moment, they'd lost all their games. Some games were somewhat okay, but mostly they've been creamed. Until tonight. They won! It was fantastic. As a parent, I got such a high out of seeing my boy cross that plate and make a score that helped the team win. I get so anxious when I go out to these games. Especially when he is up to bat. He even had a pretty sizeable game injury two games ago. He slid, but it went badly and he somersaulted across the plate. He made the run...the only run for the game. But he hit his knee. Hard. He got a good scrape through this pants and the next morning his knee had a golf-ball sized fluid sack on it. I had to take him him to the doctor to make sure it wasn't cracked as he was in a lot of pain. He's fine, but still really sore. I, along with every other parent there, were super excited for the kids. It may have been just one win, but they earned it! Good job, boys!

It's hard to see, but the little number one is Alex's run from the game they lost. He got the only run.

Team Bulldogs after a win! They were hooping like they'd won the world series.

My big kid in full baseball gear.