Things I've Learned

So the year is still far from over, but thus far, I have learned some things. Sometimes, you realize certain things about raising children or being married or even random events that will make you step back and say, 'hmm...interesting'. So, as there are so many things that have occurred in our lives this year, I shall give you a little rundown on my take of them. Please note that this is purely for entertainment value.

* 'Monkey see, monkey do' is a warning. Not a statement.

* Ketchup is a food group. Not a condiment.

* Sit-ups only work in the movies. For a postpartum belly, it only makes things worse.

* Broken fingers never heal. Never.

* Family can be a pain in the butt. But a couple of eye-rolls later, you love 'em anyways.

* The antacid industry must have been founded by a mom with toddlers. Go Tums!

* When planting a garden, you should only plant one cucumber plant. That is unless you want to start a pickle factory.

* It doesn't matter what brand of cat food you buy. Cats will happily vomit up the $30.00 bag of food just the same as the $5.00 bag.

* A kid will inevitably say their first cuss word after mom steps on a honey bee with her bare foot.

* Despite what the AAP says, TV is my friend. Without it, mom's all over the country would be wearing straight jackets.

* They only put the hot, big-armed firefighters in the streets to gather donations in their little boots. Otherwise they would have empty boots. (which leads me to my next point...)

* If you have a weakness for hot, big-armed firefighters, you shouldn't carry cash on days where they are standing in the streets collecting donations.

* Children can live solely on cereal. Not because you want them to, but because apparently slaving over the hot stove to make a tasty and healthy meal for your adoring children is highly under-appreciated.

* I think I should buy some stock in Band-aids. There will always be a need to 'fix the boo-boos'. Seriously, they should sell them by the gross.

* You don't truly appreciate going to the movies or date night until you have kids.

* After a summer of countless hours of outside play time, winter will inevitably suck.