Alex's 8th Birthday

I got him an adventure vest. He loves it. Look at my big boy!

Eight years ago, I was sitting in the hospital in horrific pain and waiting to give birth to my first born. I'll never forget seeing him for the first time and how amazed I was at seeing this perfect little boy that I'd carried for over nine months. Fast forward to today and I have an eight year old boy, full of amazing talent and personality. It's amazing how fast he's grown. We went to go buy him another pair of shoes (he goes through a pair every two months) and he's in a size four. That is one size (men's shoe size chart) from my feet. Sometimes, when I'm out of socks, I go borrow a pair of his because they fit me so well. It's strange. But I'm so happy how he's growing up.

This year for his birthday, he wanted to stray from his shark theme. Though still into sharks, he has also found a new love - monsters. Frankenstein, mummy, wolfman, creature from the black lagoon...that kind of monster. He loves them and finds as many books about them that he can. I have no idea what got him started on it, but hey...whatever makes him happy. The great thing about monsters is that he has an October birthday. Halloween stuff is everywhere and that's what he wanted. So I think I may have made my best cake yet. I will make my kids fun cakes until they tell me they don't want them. That's my personal gift to them as Mom. He woke up last night to go pee and came into the kitchen to see if I was done decorating it. When he saw it, he flipped out. I'd say he was happy. Which made me happy, of course.

This year, there was no big party with friends. We kept it to just family. It was still great and he said to me tonight, "You know what mom? This was the best birthday ever!" Of course, he says that every year, but I'll take it. I'm so happy that Josh's family came to celebrate. Alex is always excited to see his cousins, Aunt Heather, and especially his Uncle Ben. It was a good day.

On another note, he did get to celebrate the his official birthday at the doctor's office. Turns out the kid got bit by a brown recluse spider over at Grandma's house. Oops. He's okay, but it's been a bit worrisome for me. The doc said it sounds like it's already starting to heal well, but we have to watch it for a week at least to make sure. Whew...what a birthday!

Before the party day, we had birthday soy ice cream sundaes to celebrate the official day.

Gotta love the cake decorating. Lovin' the cake this year though.

Cousins!

Almost Two

Evie is almost two. Two is also the number of times that she wakes up within the first two hours of putting her to bed at night. Also the number of hours I spend a day rocking her in the rocking chair. Oh...and it's also the number of inches I have to sleep on in my own bed thanks to her inability to sleep in her own stinking bed. Yeah. She's taking this whole number two thing pretty seriously. But that's okay. This too shall pass. Until then, I will admit that her cuteness throughout the day makes up for her insanity at night. This year for school pictures, I decided not to get Evie's done. Last year it was fine, but the prices went up and I just wasn't willing to donate a kidney to be able to pay for it. So I took pictures of her myself and that's what I'm having printed out to hang up on the wall. She can wait until Preschool to get the official pictures. So much cheaper this way. So, while I sit here and try to figure out just why my couch smells like urine, I'll leave you with Evie's adorableness.

Sports Kid

Alex is our sports kids. He loves all things sports. So when the first opportunity came to sign him up for something sporty, we took it. That started the summer after Kindergarten with T-ball. Then in first grade, he went on to play soccer and basketball. I think of all three sports, his favorite is probably soccer. It's outdoors and pretty demanding. His first year was rough because it just happened to be very cold and wet/icy for the games. Not a fun combo for any kind of sport, if you ask me (unless you're skiing, I suppose). From that moment on, he started playing soccer at school during recess with his buddies. When it came around for soccer again this year, I didn't even have to ask. He was going to sign up.

I'm happy to say that he did fantastic this year! It was awesome watching how far he'd come in just a year. He was dribbling the ball really well and had wonderful ball control. I was super proud of how many goals he made for his team. This weekend was his last game and, though I won't miss all the practices during the week, I will miss seeing his cute almost-eight-year-old soccer moves on the field. Luckily, this year we were blessed with amazing weather. It was warm and sunny for every game. Yay! I love warm and sunny. It's barely fall and I already miss summer. My mom came to every game (there were only four) and for his last game he was super pumped that his Aunt Mandy was there with her kids. Josh, unfortunately, has worked for most of his games. So I'm glad I video-taped a good part of this last game to watch later.

Another part of his great year for sports is that he won the poll for baseball AND soccer for picking the name of the team. His favorite football team is the New York Jets. So for four rounds of sports, he's been trying to get them to choose The Jets as the team name. For baseball, he actually won. They were officially The Jets and even got nifty shirts with logos on them. After winning the lotto with baseball and finally having his Jets team shirt, he was ready to try getting his next favorite thing on a team jersey - The Sharks. He is still shark crazy. And believe it or not, he won the poll again. His soccer team was called The Sharks. They even got real soccer jerseys instead of t-shirts. It was really great and worth the $25 to be on the team.

I decided to pull my camera out this time and get some footage and pictures of the kid in action. Go Sharks!

 

One year

One year ago today, I said goodbye to one of the greatest men in my life - my dad. It's been a year to remember but yet, also a year to forget in many ways. I still spend hours crying to myself when no one is watching. Sometimes, I'll be out shopping or just picking up the mail and I'll see a man walk by out of the corner of my eye. I blink and my heart skips a beat because it looks just like my dad. A couple of those times, the resemblance was uncanny and time slowed down as I awkwardly stared at the person who probably didn't even notice I was there. I come up with stories in my head and tell myself that maybe the government needed him for a secret project and he really did know a secret agent. They faked his death and he's still out there somewhere. Watching us from afar. Protecting us from unseen danger.

But then I blink again. And he's gone.

I told myself that first year would be the hardest. I can't prove that yet, but perhaps it is true. The first holidays each stung like salt in an open wound. First birthdays were nearly as bad. With each first that passed, I couldn't stopper the fresh pain that I felt. The scab over the hole in my heart was ripped off and I felt like I couldn't manage my emotions all over again.

But I survived.

One year ago, life turned upside down. Every day became the "new normal". I miss my dad. I miss him more today than I did yesterday and I don't think this will ever stop. I talk to him sometimes when no one is watching. I pretend he's out there with me when I'm taking a walk alone, telling me to keep going while smiling his goofy smile. When I'm driving, I feel the emptiness of the seat that he so often sat in when I took him to his many appointments. Too often, the pain peaks again still today. And for my mom, I can only pretend to fathom the heartache she must cope with daily. It's been a year. I never woke up from my nightmare like I hoped I would. At 8:36 p.m., October 3, 2013, I spoke to my dad for the last time for a whole two minutes. I don't remember if I told him I loved him or if I even said bye. I just remember talking to him about a tv show he was taping for me and my mom. I was in a rush to get the kids to bed and didn't have time to talk. I'll regret that moment for the rest of my life. If I would have talked longer, would he still  be here today? I was sure that when the clocked turned 8:36 p.m. on my phone, that I would blink one more time and open my eyes to one year ago. The phone would ring, and it would be him on the other line. I was so sure of this, that I stared at the phone until it turned. I waited one whole minute for the phone to ring, barely breathing. When it turned 8:39, my heart fell. I left the house, telling Josh I needed something from the store. For a whole year, I convinced myself that I was being taught a lesson from God and that he wanted me to live this year without dad so I could know how much he meant to me, in true It's a Wonderful Life fashion. The 'in denial' phase is over now. The pain is getting easier to deal with. But it's always there. Always reminding me how much I loved him. How much he meant...will always mean to me. It's been a year, and the pain is still here.

But I'm doing okay.

Miss you dad. Love you always.

September 2014

We went to the drive-in as a last of summer blast. It was a wonderful time!

I'm supposed to be doing something productive that involves writing the sequel to my book. But I'm not. I don't know why, but the motivation just isn't readily available today. But as I sat here, randomly surfing the internet in an act of distraction, I came upon the link for the blog. I wondered how many times I'd actually managed to sit down and document life and was surprised to see the results of my wondering.

Twelve.

That's it. Twelve whole posts. I started to do monthly posts, but gave up on that as well. As a writer, (or "writer" with the finger quotations, as I like to say) I should be using this as practice to keep my mind in writing mode. So a September post it is!

School:

School is in full swing and the kids are in their routines. Alex has discovered that second grade is more work than he thought it would be. They are always busy and he has homework all of the time. He's starting to tell me how much he dislikes school. That doesn't make me happy. That being said, he's still doing amazing. His reading skills are way up there and he's whipping through books at an astonishing rate. The Book-It program starts in October. He'll have his books read at the end of the first week. Abby, on the other hand, is in love with school. I think this is the first grade happy bubble. That bubble will most likely burst next year as it has for Alex. She has come to surprise me in her reading skills as well. That little girl has gone from barely reading to reading two to three full books per night. She read five Dr. Seuss books tonight on her own. It shocks me how far she has come in one month. I'll be interested to see what her teacher says at the parent teacher conferences next month. Evie, my little stay at home child, is the one who I fear is suffering the most with school in full swing. She gets lonely, the poor little one. The only one to keep her company all day is me. And I'm told that I am not exactly a bucket of happy joyfulness these days. I hope and pray she does not grow up scarred and resentful. I just don't know anyone with kids her age and I'm way too anti-social to be in a playgroup.

Second Grade

First Grade

Almost 2 years old...AKA...No grade, but wanted her picture taken too.

Home for sale...still:

It's been four months and our matchbox house is still up for sale with zero interest. Honestly, I'm getting worried. We had one lady that may have had interest, but that fizzled out like wet fireworks. So far, we've been told our house is too small, over-priced, has uneven floors, horrible ceilings, is in a bad location, and has no curb appeal. Nice, huh? The problem is: We are busting at the seams. We've ran into problem after problem trying to fit three kids in one office-sized room. Bunk beds are too big to fit and too tall for a drop ceiling. So we are now thinking of putting a twin bed in our "master" bedroom with Josh and me for Evie. Which brings me to my next point -

Insomnia:

I don't think I have a full case of insomnia. But it's pretty close. I can't sleep these days. Oh, I'm exhausted alright. I just toss and turn when I go to bed. It could be that my mind doesn't have a snooze button and just keeps thinking all night long. OR it could be the chainsaw-like snoring husband and an almost two-year old that shares a bed with me due to the fact that she refuses to sleep in her own bed for some reason. I get about three inches of bed to sleep on and that's on a good night. She has major sleep issues. I remember thinking that Alex and Abby had issues. I was wrong. Evie has issues. Problem 1: She fell out of her crib very early and had to be put in a toddler bed for her own safety. Keeping a one-year old in a toddler bed is next to impossible. Keeping a one-year old like Evie in one, is even harder. She doesn't want to sleep in it. At all. So she wakes up crying up to ten times per night BEFORE I go to bed. Problem 2: She is in our room. She can sense me like a wounded seal in shark infested waters. It's almost creepy. Within two minutes of crawling into bed, she is awake and screaming for me. So yeah. I'm tired. This can't be good.

This is what happens at night when I'm trying to have time to myself. Actually, as I'm making this post, she's doing the same thing. *sigh*

Visitor:

The only other thing we've been dealing with lately, is a visitor that has made himself a home away from home. An outdoor cat that my kids lovingly named Tom, has been at our house morning, noon and night for the better part of summer. So I finally decided that it was time to see if he had an owner. I put a collar on him with a little note attached and hoped for the best. Turns out, he does have an owner. And after talking with the owner on the phone, we were asked to stop feeding him and to bring him back to their house the next time he visits. At first, the call went well, but now I'm afraid I've just made them mad. Oh well. That's what you get when you don't keep your cats inside. Cats will wander. He wasn't here today. I don't think he's coming back. Gotta admit: I missed his furry face. See ya later, Tom.

Book stuff:

*zzzzzz* Oh sorry. I got bored thinking about this for a second and fell asleep. There really isn't much exciting happening with my book. I'm actually deciding that it's probably just another dead end. I might have something worked up with our elementary school, but as of yet, the librarian hasn't approved it for the kids. So we'll see. My sales are way down. Wait. No. That's not right. That would indicate that I have made sales. Which I haven't. So, for now, it's just an over-demanding hobby that has helped aid my insomnia-like tendencies. But I keep truckin' forward. You just never know. Right?

Birthdays:

And last but not least, we had a big birthday month. Josh turned...ahem...not 40 yet. He said that he actually is feeling old due to all the body aches he has thanks to working like a team of mules 25+ days a month. Poor guy. My niece (sort of), Greta, turned five years old. I can't believe she'll be in kindergarten next year. Crazy! And finally, this year marks the first year that my mother-in-law, Cindy, wasn't around to celebrate her birthday. It was harder on Josh than I think he expected it to be. They shared birthdays just one day apart and he was always used to having his annual birthday phone calls with her. I must say that it was hard not making cards for Grandma. The pain of my own Dad's birthday this year was almost too much for me to take. Life. What can you do? So Happy Birthday to all our September family members!

Josh's birthday. He wanted a pudding cake.

Poop

Yep. Poop is the title of my post today. That is precisely the only way to accurately describe the contents of its awesomeness.

I have three kids. That means that I've successfully managed to deal with diapers and the contents of said diapers through three separate occasions. And surprisingly enough, my third and current standing experience with them, is completely different than the prior two times.

Poop is fantastic. It really is. I mean, you can tell a lot by the simpleness of the whole thing. As a parent, poop generally leads to good things. If your baby has a certain number of poopy diapers as an infant, then you're successfully feeding them. As they go onto solids, you get the happiness of knowing that what goes in, comes out nicely later. You can tell a lot from the contents of each diaper - from sickness to water consumption. Then you get toddlers and they learn to hide in a corner when they go. And that's when you realize they are getting ready to potty train. Yet another moment of happiness. Then they learn to poop on the potty and - BAM! Best. Day. Ever.

Yep. Poop is pretty darn fantastic.

Unless your 20 month old toddler is bringing it to you in their hand. Every single day. Several times per day. And smiling saying, "Mommy! I poopied!"

That's when poop suddenly becomes the evil bane of your existence. Guess who is going through this at this current phase in her life? Yep. Evie. Technically though, I'm going to say that Evie isn't the one who is "going through this". It's me. I'm the happy recipient of the poop that she brings. I love my kids. I adore every moment with Evie as she is growing into a little kid. But this whole hand-me-the-contents-of-your-diaper thing is driving...me...insane! It's taken some time, but I finally have discovered the root of her poop-picking obsession.

Washing her hands.

The kid loves to wash her hands. And so she gets uber-excited to show me how dirty they are so that she can go wash them. I try my hardest not to react when she hands me her diaper bombs. But dang it all! There's only so much a mom can take! Alex and Abby both did this when they were little. But only rarely. They realized the disgustingness of the situation and promptly stopped. Evie? Not so much. She is so efficient at this, that she can poop and then have her hand in her diaper to grab the goods within 1 second of finishing. I'm not even joking.

So this time, with miss Evie, I can honestly say that I am dying to start potty training. This past week she's been teething and has had the dreaded diarrhea that accompanies it. I can't express to you the horrors I've seen. *shudder* I just needed to document this phase of her/my life so that one day, when she asks about potty training with her children, I can show her this and laugh and laugh and laugh.

P.S. Right now, I'm not laughing.

The Great California Vacation: Part Four (Final)

When I last left off, we had just emerged from the dense redwoods into the open air and spotted before us, the beauty of the vast and amazing ocean. Actually, we had just eaten and I'd gotten some questionable fish and chips. Anyhow, this was to be our last moment of awesomeness on our grand adventure to California and it was the one that Alex was looking forward to the most. Actually, I think it was the one that most of us were looking forward to the most. Seeing the ocean is amazing. I know that people who live next to it can take it for granted. But when you're from smack dab in the middle of the midwest, the ocean is positively spectacular.

Coming out of the redwood forest, this was our view from the car.

We parked the car Alex and Abby were off to the water like crazy kids. Alex, my ocean loving child, was in heaven. By the time I reached him, Abby and Josh at the edge of the ocean, Alex had already managed to fall into the water - fully clothed. Now, I was okay with that, but told him to be more careful. By then, he had only fallen in up to his knees. Keep in mind that it was barely in the 70’s with a cool breeze coming off of the water. We had all kicked our shoes off due to the fine sand entering every pore of bodies and clothes. It was just inspirational seeing the ocean like this. The last time I’d seen the ocean was on our honeymoon to Florida. That was along time ago and it was dusk by the time we got to traverse the beach. Here, it was broad daylight and you could see nothing past the ocean.

Rolling the pants up. A pointless act, apparently.

I think Alex could have stayed here all day long.

Right about the time I told Alex not to get any wetter, he “accidentally” fell into the water again…and rolled around…twice. I could have slaughtered that kid right about then. The problem, continuing on our Clark Griswold-like family vacation, was that I failed to realize that a change of clothes would be beneficial. I brought nothing. And after getting wet, it got much colder. I figured that he was old enough to just suck it up and deal. Abby was smart enough to stay relatively dry. So we managed and went on our merry way exploring the beach and the caves nearby. I was in charge of miss Evie, of course, so didn’t get to explore quite as much. We hunted for shells and hoped to find something living. We saw a few jellyfish that had washed ashore, but other than that, nothing living. We did find a nifty crab on the cliffs though. See how alive I made it look? Wouldn’t know that I posed its dead body for a photo, would you? I’m awful like that.

Poor dead crab. Seagull fodder, I'm afraid.

 

I had Josh write his name in the sand, but for some reason, I didn't take a picture. I think I got distracted by Evie's antics.

So I had originally planned to get this epic family photo with me dressed in my Halloween pirate costume while tying up my family with a mariner’s rope as prisoners on the beach. Yeah…didn’t happen. I couldn’t find room to bring my costume and had no idea where to get a rope. So I cleverly came up with a new plan of the five of us running down the beach, hand in hand. I gathered up the masses and gave my camera to my mom. As I was herding the two reluctant older children up, I failed to realize how close I was to the water while holding Evie's hand. The next thing I knew, Evie got sucked into a wave and went under. Now, don’t worry. It was only for a second so she was fine, but she was also drenched to the core. I was so frustrated with how crappy things were going because of my poor planning that I gave up the picture to get my poor sweet baby to the warmth of the car. She was soaked and shivering and covered in sand. On the way back to the car, Alex decided that he needed to fall into the sand with his soaked clothes and body and make a sand angel. Have you ever tried to get wet beach sand off? Yeah. It’s impossible without a power washer. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have been upset, but I was not a happy camper at this point. (It had been a stressful trip.) I swallowed hard and marched on, trying not to get too mad at my little sand creatures. Let’s just say that I felt really bad for the people who had to clean out that rental car.

Like my hair? You, too, could have epic hair like me. My hair did NOT agree with humidity in California. Ugh. This was the best way I could document my day at the beach.

Not our best family photo, but not our worst either.

The newly weds!

By the time we got to the car, Evie was a Popsicle. She rode home in a diaper. Poor kid. We headed for the hotel, taking the unscenic way home to get there faster. Most of us were starving, cold, had sand in places that we couldn’t explain, and smelled like we’d just gotten done swabbing the deck of the Jolly Roger. I was thankful for that shower that evening.

So, that was it for our vacation. We headed back across the Golden Gate Bridge and said our goodbyes to everyone. Even though there were some bumps (my shin still isn’t back to normal from that blasted redwood tree), some mistakes, and a few tears shed, it was easily one of the most memorable trips I’ve ever been on. Seriously though, I refuse to do another plane ride until all my children are officially potty trained. I’m so happy we decided to go and I will treasure those memories forever. I missed my dad during the whole trek, but had a wonderful time with my family. We got home to bitter temperatures and rain. But I was super thankful to be back in my own bed. So were the kiddos. Oddly enough, I just found out that one brother is going to be moving to Colorado soon. Looks like I’d better get ready for another trip. I wonder how crazy the Royal Gorge would be with a three year old?

See ya later San Fran!