Evie's 2nd Birthday

 

Evie turned one this week. She's doing so much these days. It's almost hard to believe that she is just one and not five. She started walking at 7 1/2 months and didn't look back. Right now, she's really in love with all things cats. She has a favorite stuffed animal of a kitten that she totes around with her and loves and so this year I decided to go with a kitty cake. I think she loved it...as much as a one-year old can love a cake. She'll appreciate it when she grows up and sees these pictures.

Her first birthday was bitter-sweet. First of all, my dad missed it. Just barely, too. It's a hard time at this point in my life. I can barely hold myself together, let alone keep a smile on my face. Dad not being here was harsh. Harsher than I ever thought possible. That being said, I did my best. I couldn't not make her a pretty cake, so that is what I threw all my attention to. It kept me busy, and busy is good these days. You can't cry when you're busy.

Lots of family showed up. I'm thinking it was mostly because they knew it would be a good distraction from the over-powering sadness. Evie, bless her heart, is young enough to not know the loss and sadness that others are feeling. In a way, I'm thankful. Alex and Abby are having a hard time dealing. As I write this, you should know, it's been two years since this day happened. I'm post-dating this blog so it's recorded. So anyone who happens on this post will understand that I can remember it well, though it felt as though life was a dream at this point.

Evie is so busy for a one-year old and I'm so happy  and blessed to be her mommy. I think, despite all the crazy, it was a good time. Or goodish, I suppose. Once again, there was an empty spot where Dad should be - an empty sound to 'Happy Birthday' with his baratone voice missing. It was a hard time. Oh...and also...thank you to my good friend Mandy for taking the time to record this in pictures for me as Evie managed to throw my camera across the house and destroy it just days before her birthday. Stinker.

Mmm...cake.

Present time for the big girl.

Look at that perfectly bald head.

Mandy told me that this picture perfectly captures this time in my life. I was barely hanging on, but had to be a mom too.

The cake looks like her special stuffed animal kitty.

Here comes the grumpy.

Alex's 7th Birthday: October 17, 2013

Alex is seven years old. What a goofball.

Well...it's only a month late. So, now that I've addressed that, let's not waste any time.

Alex turned 7 years old on October 17th. Alex's age lines up directly with how long we've lived in our house and how old (plus one year) three of our five cats are. What he wanted to do for his birthday was  have a slumber party. I was completely on board for this prior to my dad's passing. As my emotional capacity was dwindling quite severely, I ended up opting out of the slumber party and convincing him on slightly different plans. He got to invite quite a few friends from school to enjoy cake, popsicles, punch, a silly string extravaganza and a pinata. He seemed okay with it until I told him he could have his best bud, Kyler, spend the night after the party was over. It sweetened the deal just enough that I didn't harbor too much guilt for being the uncool mom who broke her word. It was Alex's first birthday without my dad....aka Grandpa. It was rough for everyone. Especially mom and the kids.

 We started off with the silly string craziness. I had a mummy halloween decoration that I attached to this chair...

He was less than recognizable after it was over. It was the fan favorite target. Remummified!

Alex got tons of presents. Thanks everyone!

Cupcake and popsicle time!

Can't leave Evie out with her cupcake. She enjoyed it thoroughly.

Alex with his shark pinata. Which, by the way, is still in pieces in my backyard. Wow, I'm lazy.

Abby. This makes me laugh. Good shot, picture taker (Mandy?).

And how did Evie spend her time? With her new best friend, Uncle Jake. I still don't get it. I swear he wears some kind of baby catnip or something. She even fought to get out of my arms to go to him. Way to go bro. You just sealed the deal as future babysitter. ;-)

The silly string was a huge hit! The kids loved it. Here's the thing about silly string: Its short-lived...very short-lived. But it was fun, nonetheless. I originally set out to have a silly string fight with each other. After reading that it can be torture to remove from hair and how it can only be removed with peanutbutter, I had to nix that idea. (We are peanut-free here.) I ended up setting up targets all over the backyard (thank you awesome weather!) and had them spray those in a mad, crazy frenzy. It was a hit and I do believe they enjoyed themselves. Then, we had our first pinata experience. I lost the top of my broom and ended up with a bruise on my knuckles (thank you Abby). But otherwise, they enjoyed that too. It was filled with shark stuff...naturally.

I went full on lazy this time and didn't even decorate a cake for the kid. Rockin' my lazy-mom shoes these days. It was cupcakes and popsicles for the win this go around. He came away with a ton of shark stuff to add to his ever-growing shark collection. This kid is crazy for sharks! He has over 30 shark books now. And still wants more! Crazy kid.

Best buds, Alex and Kyler. I love it! They are so fun together. They both love sharks.

My homemade shark decoration. It was Alex's idea. It's still sitting in my laundry room.

The sleepover was a blast for the two kids. Alex and Kyler are just a hoot to watch play. I'm glad he has such a great buddy. Makes me smile. They watched tv, played football and had a great time while eating everything but the dining room table.

As far as where the kiddo is in life, well...I'm really proud of Alex. He's seven and so smart and creative. I'm really blessed to have such a responsible kid. He's had some wacky cards dealt him in his young life, but has handled them all with a sense of maturity that you wouldn't normally see in kids his age. It's great to see how much he matures and grows in the span of a year. He's almost 60 pounds and just over a foot or so shorter than I am. He's in a "special" class at school with one other kid because he's a bit ahead of the other kids in his grade. They needed to get him somewhere to keep his mind expanding and pushing him to limits beyond what they are learning day to day. He's also doing AR and enjoying that. I don't know where he gets his brains from, but we are proud of him. I cant wait to see how far he comes in another year. What a ride it's been! Happy birthday Alex!

Nightmare

It's been a month to forget.

Pretty much, that sums it up. I know that I should be sitting here on the couch every night, documenting my life and my children's lives so that one day, they can look back and read about how it was, once upon a time. But as I said before, the last month...well...I'd rather just not relive it. Ever. I don't believe I have any readers for my blog other than the random family member that checks in from time to time. So, I'm sure everyone knows the basics to why I'm avoiding my cyber-writing duties. My dad passed away a month ago.

It sucks.

It sucks very badly.

It sucks so bad, that I've had almost zero will or want to do just about anything of value since it happened.

Depressed? You bet your butt I am! Angry? Heck, ya! Sad? Beyond words. I am heartsick and broken inside. So please forgive my absence. I know I wasn't the most avid blogger before, but this has been quite the hiatus...even for me. I'm functioning on basically all of the lower levels right now. You know...hygiene, eating, drinking, taking care of the kids. Anything nonessential is just pointless for now.

My dad was so wonderful. He was the kind of man who never met a stranger and his laugh was infectious. He was the best grandpa you could ask for and now? Now he's gone. I know he's healed and flying high in the loving arms of our Lord now. But that doesn't help my hurt go away. The worst of it is watching my mom shatter into millions of pieces each day and watching her fall into my arms so I can keep her from hitting the ground. Telling my children that their grandpa died was the hardest, most horrible thing I've ever had to do. Hearing their cries and watching their hearts break was torture.

Each day, I wake up and think it was was just a nightmare that I am leaving behind, only to remember that it is all too true. Each day I cry, even if it's just while I take a shower. I miss my dad. I miss him more than I ever thought possible. At his funeral, I had the honor of giving a tribute to him. I also had the honor of writing his obituary. If one can call that an honor.

I don't know what else to say about it, but I owe it to my family/friends that try to keep up with my life through this blog to at least explain my disappearance. But don't worry. It's not just my blog that got back-burnered. I can't even seem to write on facebook anymore. And my book? That one I just published? Yeah. Don't care. Will I get back into the swing of life again? Will I go back to blogging? Yeah. I'm sure of it. Just not today.

So what can I tell you from my living nightmare? Hug your parents. Tell them you love them. Tell them how much they mean to you. If they do something that drives you crazy, cherish it. You'll miss the crazy when they're gone. Take pictures of them...with your kids. Be appreciative of them. Be thankful for them. Because you still have them. You never know how much you miss someone...

...until they're gone.

Miss you dad. Love you.

(My dad's obituary...if you're interested.)

Published!

So after many, many denials from agents and after several edits...and more edits...and maybe one or two edits after that...I'm published! Okay. Not really. I suppose self-publishing is still "publishing" in its loosest form. But, in my opinion it's just barely squeaking past that "officially published" line. Basically, I gave up on the traditional route and decided to forge my own path. I wrote a book and didn't want to sit on it for the rest of my life. So, I researched and debated on which way to go and how much to sell it for. I decided to use Kindle Publishing for E-books (it's digital) and now, I am proud to say, that I am officially live and ready to go on Amazon.com! My book is called The Gateway to Imagia: The Tale of Sam Little and it is going to (fingers crossed) be a part of The Imagia Trilogy. As of today, I have sold 11 copies. Most of them are to friends and family, but just this week I sold my very first word-of-mouth copy. Yeah! I have a page on Facebook for my book. I am pretty proud of how it turned out. You know...for a digital book. I have plans to release the paperback version of it for sale on Amazon.com. But in order to do that, I have to purchase an ISBN for my book to sell it. I need to sell 48 digital copies to fund my paperback version. Only 37 copies to go!

So if you feel so inclined, check it out! You can download the sample of it for free at Amazon.com. If you like it, it's for sale for $2.99. If you like it, and even if you don't like it, I'd love to hear what you think! Like my facebook page and let me know.

It's official. I'm a writer! Yeah, baby!

To buy my book or download a free sample, click here: 

The Gateway to Imagia: The Tale of Sam Little 

To visit my official Facebook page, click here:

The Gateway to Imagia Fan Page

Summer Vacation - Swim Lessons Round 2

My fish were at it again this summer! I decided that signing the kiddos up for another round of swim lessons would be great for them. Last year, I went with the YMCA and it was a great program. This year, as Josh was barely working and we've been up and down with our union issues (that's for a whole other post), I decided to give the local pool a try. It's a small town and a small pool. But here's the deal: They were exactly the same as the YMCA. Oddly enough, I'd go as far as to say that it was better. Not only did they get to go to the pool five days out of the week for two weeks, but they also got to swim with kids they knew from school. They had a blast! My kids are fish in the water. I guessed at their level and was totally wrong. I put them in level two, but the instructor said they were really level three or four. Seeing as how those two classes were so full, I figured we'd just go with level two and I'd bump them up next summer. It was a cheap class and totally worth it (even for the extra pool time they got at the end of lessons).

The best part was watching Alex and Abby do something I didn't really think they could do. They both jumped off the "high" dive. It's not really that high, but it's higher than the low dive. I couldn't believe how proud I was when I saw those two kids leaping like crazies off into the deep end. They swam great! I was popping with pride! I love keeping them busy during the summer and they love it too. I am totally going to sign them up again next summer. Oh...and as for miss Evie during swim lessons? She loved the little splash pool they have for wee ones. She loves water! I even squeezed my post-partum, fat butt into a bathing suit multiple times so that I could take her out in the water in her fancy lady-bug floatie. I have a feeling she'll be a fish too. Here's some pictures of my little divers (well...cannon ballers, at the very least).

Summer Vacation - T-Ball Time

Now that the kids are in school, using the term "summer vacation" actually applies to us. Before they were in school, it was just plain, old summer. This summer went by way too fast. By the time school started, I wasn't ready for it to be over. I really miss my kids being home. I'm glad they are learning and making friends. I just really enjoy having them home all day with me. Even when all they do is fight with each other and create giant messes in the house, I still miss it. The house these days is way too quiet. Evie agrees, I do believe. She randomly goes to the front door, cries and says "bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye!" This is her way of saying she wants to go see the kids. She has even begun to say rough versions of their names. (Still no "ma-ma though. grrr.)

Anyhow, this summer was pretty crazy. We had a lot of fun and a few firsts that we got to experience. The first big "first" for us was the grand entrance of sports. Alex played T-ball for the first time. He loves sports, so we couldn't deny him when he wanted to play. Granted, the greatest part for him was that he got to be on the same team as Kyler (his best bud). We had practice twice a week and five games. It's an inner-city thing that our town does through the recreation commission. It was fun and a learning experience for everyone. I played baseball/softball as a kid. It was fun to relive that through my own child. Abby wasn't interested in playing. At all. She ended up having a play-date with her friend from pre-school the same day Alex had his first game. She was more than happy to do that instead of go see brother play ball.

Alex did pretty well for his first round of team sports. He learned some fundamentals and got to have a good time with his friend. All in all, I'd say it was a good experience. I imagine he'll want to play again next summer and that's fine by me. I will say that it was pretty funny watching those little five and six year old kids try to figure out which way to run and throw. It was pretty cute and cracked me up a few times. It'll be interesting to see how much they will retain when they play again next year. Team sports, round 2  starts this week: Soccer. Yep. No clue about this sport. Gonna be interesting!

Batter up!

Third base and waiting...

Run home, Alex!

Waiting to bat with his buddy.

Mr. Cool with his John Deere hat.

Next up: Summer Vacation - Swim Lessons Round 2

First Day of School (the late, late post)

First day of school.

So, as my friend Mandy pointed out to me today, I'm epically failing on the blog front. I have a handy little post-it note on my computer with a list of things I need to write about, but have yet to do so. Fourth of July, swim lessons, the entire summer, the garden (that is mostly dying now). And of course...the first day of school. Oh, I did take a picture of my school-bound duo. I'm not lazy! I swear! Truth be told, I'm obsessed with my book right now. As soon as I finish everything for the evening and have the three wee ones off to bed, I go straight to Mr. Laptop and start working on my book. But that's not what this is about. (It's almost up for sale! yay!) So back to the first day of school...two weeks ago.

Abby is off to a great start for her first year of full day school. Kindergarten is a bit intimidating and a little too long for her, but she is getting better each day. The first day of school, she used her pink Barbie backpack and loaded it up with her lunch. Since then, she's gotten a new Phineas and Ferb backback that she is in love with, which helps her excitement level. She did fantastic on the first day! No tears or anything! I was super proud of my little Kindergartner. I will admit that I'm having some difficulty getting used to her being gone all day. I miss her and her awesome imagination and antics like crazy. Some days I turn on random shows on Netflix to fill the background with noise so that I don't go crazy. I honestly think I'm not coping nearly as well as Abby is.

Alex, on the other hand, is on to first grade. He's got the whole thing down, old hat. He wasn't very excited to go to school once he found out that his best buddy, Kyler, wouldn't be in his class. Turns out that the three recesses he has is spent playing with him, so he's getting more excited to go each day. We're still dealing with the post-summer routine switch. They go to bed at their normal "school bedtime", but it's not working out so well. Alex, my little ravenous reader, can't sleep. He sits on his bed and finds the tiniest bit of light source and reads. And reads...and reads some more. So when wake up time hits in the morning, I practically have to drag him out of bed. I actually have started threatening him with ice water to pour on him. (yes. It's that bad.) We'll get there. Or not. Either way works for me.

In short, the first day of school went pretty smooth. I've been eating lunch with Abby and saying hi to Alex everyday. I'd like to say it's mostly for them, but it's for me too. The days drag and Evie misses them horribly as well. It's going to take some getting used to. Ah, life changes. We all must adapt.